The Depth of Bi Polarism and Sexuality, PART !

I never write what you see to impress anyone

I use this forum as a scratch pad
Of different outlooks
That many loose sight of this forum being just a mere journal
In fiction

But for me
Life is stranger than fiction

And I am a Sadist
And a poet

So aint no tellin

So don't consider anything you read here to be personal
Or even up for debate
Because this is not about you
Or
*wicked grin*
It is

There is a Persian saying, 'Until belief has changed to disbelief,
and, again, the disbelief into a belief, a man does not become a real
"Believer".'

But when disbelief becomes a wall and stands against the
further penetration of mind into life, then it darkens the soul, for
there is no chance of further progress, and man's pride and
satisfaction in what he knows limit the scope of his vision.

"I am not here to become a role model to anyone here"

I just offer others a view of my public mindset
Free of charge

And some have paid the price
*sadistic grin*

For a simple diversion of their own pages of life
To visit this one

But if you dare stay?

Open your mind to the possibilities
Of life being stranger than fiction
And maybe a different way of seeing
May offer some comfort
In your own paths of life

I digress

I thought of where I should start this thread
And first I want to honor one of my subbies post
Of a subject we in my house are allowed to study deeper

...
Thanx Mlfd
...

Respecting Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll

… with dysfunction

Song or vid Sex by Jamie Foxx

Any vice to excess is a bad thing

What are Y.your vices?

Smoking?

Sex?

Prescription Drugs?

Non Prescription Drugs?

Bondage?

Domination?

Submission?

Sadism?

Masochism?

Loneliness?

Alcohol?

Are you an addict?

Has the need to find pleasure stimulants overshadowed living a LIFE?

What’s important to Y.you?

Before E.everyone get mad at me.

The key word is “in excess”

What is addiction?

addiction

n.

the condition of being addicted (to a habit) or of being an addict; specif. but not limited to the habitual use of narcotic drugs

addiction

n.

— Syn. dependence, habit, fixation, craving, compulsion, habituation, inclination, bent, enslavement, substance abuse, alcoholism, monkey on one's back*, jones*; see also habit 1, obsession.

Overcoming Addiction is especially difficult but trying to overcome addiction in addition to treating any other underlying disorder is extremely difficult without help. If there is an underlying disorder that goes untreated there is a great risk of a relapse.

And knowing is half the battle.

Doing something about your addictions and/or disorders is the other half of the battle.

This is War!

This is a Challenge!

How do Y.you meet your challenges?

Head On?

Or cower under a rock waiting for the White Knight or Dark Knight to save you. Or Dark Queen for those submissive males out there.

This is not the storybook i read at night.

There is no happy ending without HARD WORK!

And F.friends and F.family cannot save Y.you.

You gotta save yourself. You gotta acknowledge that there is a problem. No denial here.

W.we are all grown azz adults in these sexual styles of LIFE. And being an adult mean that you have to come to the realization of Y.your reality. Understand it. Accept it. Change it if Y.you cannot deal with it.

What do you wanna do with Your LIFE?

What do Y.you need to sustain You?

In moderation….. in moderation.

The past is the past. It will not change..

Past sorrows

Past regrets

Past addictions

Is just that.. The past.

W.we are in the here and now.

W.we are being productive for the future?

How are Y.you supporting?

Together?

No matter what?

How strong are Y.you?

What do you stand for?

Or Y.you will fall for anything.

Addiction is a disease just like any underlying disorder and need to be treated seriously with a health professionals, family and friends support. But ultimately Y.you need to have the will to get up and walk on your own.

One myth about additions.

“You have to hit rock bottom to get help”

FALSE

Y.you don’t have to lose Y.your job, family, friends, home to seek help. You just need to DO. Not only hope, wish, pray. Or worse wait for someone to help You.

Now I’m not preaching . I’m real. I’ve made mistakes.

But I tell you what. I learn from my mistakes. Even with this heard head.

An in the past two years I’ve learned that Your only savior is God and the self-willingness to DO. Better.

So I can say I have some experience in dealing with underlying disorders in addition to addiction.

Some underlying disorders that can cause to addiction relapse are …

Depression

Anxiety

Fear of LIFE changes

Fear of being lonely

Bipolar

And many more…..

And F.family and F.friends should not feel helpless to help. But should not ENABLE as well. In many cases an addict must confront the origination or causes, of the underlying disorder not to fall into relapse.

Addictions are in part caused by some childhood drama trauma not dealth with. Addictions are also in part caused by the brain need to counter balance the low levels of dopamine brought on by many different stressors in the LIFE as an adult.

>dopamine

n.

5d(ihydr)o(xy)p(henyl) + AMINE6 an amine, C8H11NO2, that is an intermediate biochemical product in the synthesis of norepinephrine, epinephrine, and melanin, and is a neurotransmitter

Addiction is the most PREVENTABLE cause of premature death in the US.

Alcohol is the most documented form of addiction but the theory with any vice (drug or stimulant) is the same.

The initial primary goal of an addict is to escape stressors in Y.your LIFE.

But how does an addict become addicted?

Seeking pleasure stimulants in excess.

brain wave

1 any of a series of rhythmic electric impulses given off by nerve centers in the brain: they produce oscillations on an electroencephalogram and are usually measured during rest

Types of Addict brain waves

Alpha brain wave activity – The feeling of being relaxed or High

Beta brain wave activity – feelings of being alert and stimulated

Theta brain waive activity – feeling of being sleepy

Alpha and Beta brain waves are dominated or amplified. This is the first step of addiction. The need for ZERO (0) anxiety. The pleasure seeking need in excess.

Now every Addict is different because tolerance levels are different from person to person. But it starts with the first drink or the first bottle at one sitting. The feeling of pleasure comes from the body balancing and exceeding the naturally produced dopamine levels in the body. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter.

neurotransmitter

n.

a biochemical substance, as acetylcholine or norepinephrine, that transmits or inhibits nerve impulses at a synapse.

synapse

n.

5ModL synapsis: see fol.6 the minute space between a nerve cell and another nerve cell, a muscle cell, etc., through which nerve impulses are transmitted from one to the other

Transmit or INHIBIT nerve impulses at a synapse. Or in other words feeling relaxed, high, sleepy, alert and or stimulated. But ultimately feeling something other than hurt, pain, fear, etc.

If you were to continue drinking on a regular basis, your brain would adapt to this alcohol (vice or stimulant) ladened environment and cut and cut back on the brains natural production and come to depend on the alcohol (vice or stimulant) on a daily supply basis.

Alcohol (vice or stimulant in excess) is toxic and dangerous to the body. In the case of alcohol it could lead to cirrhosis of the liver.

cir rho sis

n.,

pl. -[ses# 7-scz#8 5ModL < style="">kirrhos, tawny + -OSIS: so named by R. T. H. La<nnec (1781-1826), Fr physician, because of the orange-yellow appearance of the diseased liver6 a degenerative disease in an organ of the body, esp. the liver, marked by excess formation of connective tissue and, usually, subsequent painful swelling

Alcohol addiction is the best example of pleasure dependency or artificial production of dopamine. But keep in mind there are many other stimulants that can cause the same pleasure dependency.

The key is knowing your body. Knowing your limits. Knowing the reasons for the naturally low production levels of dopamine or any other neuro transmitter.

Another pleasure seeking stimulant is prescription drugs WITHOUT professional therapy of organized support system.

As stressors continue, the brain will have a constant increasing need to balance or tip over the dopamine levels produced.

SEX AND DRUG ADDICTION

A disastrous combination

And these coveted sexual styles of LIFE is smothered with…

SEX

Lol

Or erotic experiences

Both are vices and stimulants but in excess can be lead to addiction as well.

Before clicking away …. Hear my point.

Sex and Drugs are like

“Taking a loan out from the MAFIA.”

Meaning

Short term benefits but in the long run pay a high price with a high interest rate.

And I’m po

Drugs stimulate the sexual drive center. Drugs produce an enhanced effect initially but over time you get the decreased opposite effect.

Alcohol increases the depressive effect. Drugs and alcohol can lead to performance problems. Decreased sex drive. The decreased ability to reach and maintain an erection. It may also lead to neuropathy.

neu ro pathy

n.

5NEURO- + -PATHY6 any disease of the nervous system

Both Females and Males can be effectly sexually by drugs.

Alcohol (Drugs, vices, stimulants) works against sexual function. Even though initially alcohol (drugs, vices, stimulants) makes you feel less stressed, relieve anxiety, feel more at ease, in the long run alcohol suppresses sexual arousal.

And here’s the scary part.

Drugs attack the central nervous system . The depressant makes it more difficult to orgasm. Over long periods of time, the attack on the central nervous system … which leads to an attack on the genital area. Stimulants can cause sexual problems in the long run and may cause permanent damage.

Drugs like Anti-depressants without therapy or structured support system can lead to a decrease in arousal, libido, and orgasmic function.

Weed also decreases sexual drive and sperm count. It lowers the testosterone levels.

Opiates and painkillers REPLACE sexual behavior

Drugs become your sexlife instead of enhancing it.

Other stimulants to look out for are caffeine, cocaine, amphetamines, and nicotine. Repeating again TO EXCESS.

Addiction to ROCK and ROLL

Or in other words these Sexual Styles of LIFE that we are into.

This can be BDSM, swinging, or anything else that you are into that take away from your LIFE instead of enhancing it.

Last time saying. Anything in excess is a bad thing.

If my mother didn’t teach me nothing else.

No vice is worth having if the cost is too great.

At the time she was talking about drinking and smoking cigarettes. I was young and didn’t see the long term effects of a po azz woman with a monkey on her back. If I didn’t have the $4.00 in my pocket to pay for the cigs then why make it a strong destructive force in your LIFE. Same with drinking. If you couldn’t afford to keep up with your style of LIFE then don’t start.

Lesson sort of learned early but then again I was hardheaded. Had to learn for my self.

And BDSM is drug just like alcohol, drugs, and sex. If done correctly, BDSM creates the same pleasure seeking dopamine levels and gives a bad crash afterwards.

OK now last time saying.

Anything in excess is a bad thing.

Are Y.you being

Safe?

Sane?

Concensual?

And knowing is half the battle.

Doing is the other half.

What you gonna DO?

What do you stand for?

What will you fall for?

Are you up for the challenge?

I am

I hope this information is helpful for A.anyone feeling where I am coming from.

If you want to find more information, please check out Addictions: The series at HBO.com (also on cable)and discoveryhealth.com (Discovery Channel). Gotta luv OnDemand.

Humbly submitted with devotion,

Mlfd

… … respect

...
In my "house"
I demand a darker and deeper understanding
Of your knowledge of self

And all of my subbies suffer from some form of mental and social dysfunction that does not make them weaker

But it does make it more important for me to know
That they need to respect all of their demons
And not only face them
But understand how they are created
And then they can dive deeper
Into their fears
And not only face them
But control their fear of them
And learn how to better control their own sanity
Naturally

Without the assistance of addiction and denial

And how they are connected to mental and sexual stability

And if they choose to join me

Then maybe in time something may rub off on them
While I live my life in search a deeper and stronger elevation
With the universe
Spiritually and mentally

And I am not perfect
As a matter of fact
I too am dysfunctional
I too have many of the same struggles
In some manner
But my training is more advanced
And I have more of a lust to strive deeper
Than a fear of not being able to handle the darkness
And consider a instinct of re-evaluation of the truth
To at least try harder
To become better
Than whom I am now
As I am

And my journey is not easy
It is not fun
But
It is rewarding
As I walk by a deeper faith
And not by a weaker sight
As to my importance
And purpose

As a blessed human being



And the world that I dwell in
Is not fit for normal consumption
Or understanding
Let alone respect

But is is real
Maybe too real

But I will not settle for anyone who can settle for being good enough
As you have become so far

In my life

I know that there is a bigger plan for myself
Than who I am

And my purpose is driven by a deeper and different direction

What ever it is
Is bigger than all of us

And maybe made for later generations
Than for the people who now seek
Something more than what they know
Or have in their lives
Today


And for that
I value depth
And demand growth
And respect the ability to learn how to respect becoming more open
About the importance of our evolution

And not just entertaining sanity

Because you are only worth as much as you strive for
And some adults just want to be content

And that is why
They seek more than they find
And seldom find more peace
In being more blessed
Than they want to become
Yet

And that is why I try not to hate
Haters
Because they know not
And I am trying to consider the possibilities

And build a better faith
That I am on this earth

For something greater than my own personal needs





Without self-knowledge, we cannot go beyond the mind.
—J. Krishnamurti

I like my friends like good tissue. Soft to the touch, but strong enough to deal with some real crap

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheKinkYHoTBoX/



respect

Respecting being human first? (+/-)

I read alot about submissives and what they think
And frankly
I find it kinda funny how many of them really think
Dominants are some comic book hero or Harlequin romance figure

You hear them and see them dreaming of some image
That is fit for their liking
Including whatever they want them to be like
And be treated like

And they do all this building of these images
That sound nothing like what they need
More than what they want

And what's the good in that?

If you are so perfect as you are alone?
Then why would anyone want someone who thinks
They don't have to work
They don't have to serve
They don't have to submit
They don't have to respect them
If they don't feel it's what they want to do

*smirk*

And I'm not talking about being Domineering
I mean
After you make a mutual connection
And you form a understanding that you have enough in common to try to live together in some form of a relationship

What about the everyday issues you have to deal with?

What about the rest of your everyday life?

Are they a part of that too?

Or are they just contractors
Hired to be there when you need it
And then it's off, back to their corner
Until you need some attention
Again

*wicked grin*

Kinda like a teddy bear that you can toss on your bed when you are in need of some form of attention and inclusion to someone

A trophy

And no matter what you think

A Dominant is human too
And in many cases more human than you feel you are without them

And I don't mean every Dominant
Because there is NO one person who is alike

Yet you read these quotes and theories of how they should be
For a submissive
From a submissive

And the real fact is
A Dominant does not NEED a submissive
As much as they need someone who needs them
Respects them
Trust them
And has a desire to become a productive piece of their lives
As a submissive
To them

And willing to prove it
All for the price of being a part of that Dominants life

"Without return"
Because any real Dominant would respect any real submissives submission to them

Respectfully

I did say any real Dominant
Because just because you say you are something
And you feel it
You claim it
You name it

Don't mean that you are made for whoever wants to be a submissive
Even if it is to you

This is still the real world and this is still reality
And life aint easy for one person try'n to be progressive
Try'n to be positive
Try'n to be productive

Try'n not to be a waste of human flesh

And life is hard enough alone
But maybe if you were to find a partner
Someone who is down for your cause
Because your paths not only cross
But they support each other
As you would wish a partner would be
For life
And not until the cum dries

But that sounds deeper than just a vanilla relationship
Because it is

*duh*

You don't have to have a great plan
As long as you plan on having a plan
And sticking to it
Together

And this lifestyle stuff only adds style to your life

And not just something to do when your feeling kinky

Or it's just as well you do bad by yourself

And that goes for your life in general

And maybe that is why so many people don't like their lives as they are right now

They can't get it together by themselves
Without any help

But
What's the use of asking or even seeking help from others?
Only to feel the need to define and control your own life
No matter who else is in your life to some degree
You still feel the need to feel you are in charge of your own destiny

And that is not what this lifestyle is about
At least

This lifestyle is for people who are so busy being busy
Working on being productive
That this lifestyle offers a constructive foundation
To the part of your lives you spend together
When your not in the real world
Making moves
And paying bills
And making something more out of the blessings you have been given

And all of that does not sound like what you see people talking about they want from this lifestyle
And others who are in it or of it

If sex and playing like you are some royalty
Is all you see this lifestyle to be
Then you are the weakest link
Of this lifestyle

And this is not a selfish sport

If you claim to be submissive?

Or you desire to be that way to someone?

Then you have to consider the reality of your submission

You are at your best when you are of service to whom you serve
And not because they want you to serve them
But because you value their need to have a better partner
Who is a part of the big picture

Life with your Dominant
As you assist
As you support
As you live their life
And enjoying them enjoying your submission to them

Making them the happiest Dominant
And a stronger force in life
With you

And not just dragging a sleeping body of make believe submission
Bitching about what they want

*snicker*

Because you not only compliment them and their lives
You are a part of their lives
A investor
And you believe in them to be worth more with you
Than you without them
And they without you
Unless you have nothing to offer

The joy of giving someone everything they need to excel
And being a part of your gift to them

Your sub mission

Your submission to them is a weapon to all others who cross their path
Your submission to them is a trophy of their worth to you

Not your submission being perfect

But their Dominance can perfect your submission

Together

As a team
And their is no "I" in team
Maybe a "i" am the team
And you are a part of a plan

Like the good tires are to a expensive car

Not worth the body but they support the overall performance


And from what I have seen from many others?

They seem to think that they can get away with being
Cheap tires
Worn and only concerned about being used
And not concerned about their effect on that cars ability to win the race
They seem to feel that being a part of a loosing team
Is better than not being in the race at all

And the bottom line to life is?

Like in the expensive cars reality

If the car wins the race?
Even the tires become the winning sponsor

But we are not talking about tires or cars

We are talking about this lifestyle
And the relationships formed by it
And the value of your Dominance and sub mission to each others lives

And how to offer a better service to each other
As you live togeher
To some degree

And everyday is a new learning process
And everyone has to improve
To better suit each other
And the common goal of winning the race of life
The best you can
Together

Each one supports the other

But only one is the top of the food chain
They know what is needed
And you can only offer assistance
But they have the final say
And you respect that say and them

But if you do not feel that they are qualified to be that powerful?
Then why think about offering your power to them?
It's not called Kinda Power Exchange

Is your life and theirs worth so little to waste
Trying to be something to each other that you are not

This is not a game

As a Dominant

If you are not willing to live for more than just yourself?

Then maybe your just Dominant-ish

If you do not value positive results through your training?
Then why try to act like you have time to waste on others who do not want to change or improve?

You should not have to make someone want to become more to you and themselves

Because they are a part of your life
If you so claim to desire owning them and protecting them
Then you should not have to beat them into submission
They should desire your direction

Or you are fooling each other
And they do not respect your Dominance
And that will never change
If it does not change

And you will let them hurt you and your image
As you take the blame
For letting them
Act like they are doing something
They are not

Being a supportive submissive
To a respected Dominant

Because for me
I have a natural desire to provide for others who support me

I value sharing improvements together
When others are being supportive through their own evolution
Into a better team
Together
With me

Because I hear many women say they can do bad by themselves
But I seldom see them say they can do better with me
Or someone they are ready to respect
More than they have to date
(or fuck)

*blank stare*

But some people do not want as much out of life as others do
And we should not settle for not being lonely

We should have as much as we can get
And if we can do it together?
Then we can share the fruits of our labor together

And I think too many people risk too much of their time
Just fucking around
(or fucking)

And not pulling resources and building a better partnership
Together

And the kinky stuff is more fun when you enjoy learning more about each other
SSC

But most of all
When you let a Dominant mold you into what he can not live without?
You will not live without them

But it's work
And everyone has a job to do
And nobody is worth a day off over the other

Because life is not easy

But Sir Ez's life is better with this lifestyle
Than without it

But only when it works for me
And mines


And you will never be a submissive until you submit to someone you respect
And stay that way
Together
And they respect you for being you

Owned
By someone you respect

Forsaking all others
Together

Us against the world

And we are winning


Or your just dreaming of being something your not ready to wake up and learn how to become

And time waits for no one

And I wonder why so many people waste so much time
Acting like so many others have time to waste
On them

If you were worth what you feel you are as you are?
More people would want you more


But don't take it personal

This is just a lifestyle

Some of you first have to find a life
And then find out how much style you have to offer

And then you have to live
Together

Or not

But
Dominant or sub missive

We all are just imperfect humans on this earth

Looking for a better way of living a better way

And for me?

This lifestyle is worth more than sex
And more fun than just sex

But you have to first Master being able to respect sex
Because you can fuck yourself

But where is the fun in that?
When you can be kinky
Together

If you respect yourself first
And respect the need to respect others
Who respect you

And know the difference

Anyone can call themselves a Dominant or a sub missive

But what else do you have to work with?







respect

Lusting for a vanilla life?

Respecting the norm?

Working on a relationship of any kind can be hard

But when you are single and a provider
And not a mate


It can be a bit more stressful

But it can be done

If it is worth it

But with no direction or mutual plan
You can end up just spinning your wheels
And waisting a great deal of time

But that depends on what you want
And what you are willing to do to have it

But what about whoever you are dealing with?

Do they feel the same?

Do they have the same plan and direction with you?

Do they compliment you and you them?

Because you can have a lifestyle relationship and not be in a vanilla relationship
Or you can them both

But that takes more work

And we all have needs

But sometimes I really desire more than just being more to others than I have from anyone on a personal level

Meaning?

If you don't mutually stand for something together?

Then you will only have what is available

If you agree

Together

Or not

*snicker*

But when there is no emotional bond

All you have is faith, trust, and whatever you agree to be to each other

Or not



respect

Respecting D/s 24/7

It's always a bit more helpful to have more support
And when you find others who respect you
And each other
You can build a better foundation
Together


Everybody wants to do many of the things some of us do on a 24/7 basis

Some want to have productive relationships
Some want to be poly

But many find it to be more of a dream than a possibility

But it is work

And the pay off for being productive is worth the effort

Because it's all about what works well for you
But many find it harder to try than to do
And even harder to keep doing it
And doing it better in time

Every relationship is unique

Each person has needs and desires to support what they respect

And for me and mines?

We respect the ability to provide each other with positive support through the D/s lifestyle

And it has been helpful to all of us in one way or the other
We support each other mentally, physically and spiritually

And that is a rare combination to find and work with

So I guess it is what you make it
Every day you work at being more to each other
And it is a day to day struggle to stay respectful of each other's devotion to the whole
(here's a interesting post)

http://www.polygrrl.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Jealousy, Envy, Compersion, A Mish Mash of Thought.

Jealousy, envy and compersion…

It is generally agreed that jealousy happens, much like shit hitting the fan. There are times you can see it coming and maybe you can get out of the way. Sometimes, sometimes is flys out of no where.
I think a long time ago I felt a lot of what I thought of as jealousy. I see now that it was envy that I was feeling most of the time. I’m no saint, I’ve been jealous before.

But I learned though that there is a huge difference between jealousy and envy.

Jealousy is something that has the potential to destroy. It’s when someone wants what someone else has. They covet that possession to a degree that emotionally sets it apart from envy. Perhaps they will stop at nothing to have it or they will create problems for the one in possession.
Envy is a little different. It’s wanting what someone else has, but not feeling it to the degree that they’d act upon it. They want something like it, but not the exact thing that another person has. It can burn just like jealousy, but it doesn’t eat away at the person. It just sits and eventually cools.

Well, such things are easy to understand when say, you like your friends girlfriend. You can see the obvious boundary. He doesn’t share. She’s not yours, etc.

In poly though, um, you are sharing. You have access to your friend’s girlfriend. That girlfriend is your girlfriend, too.

In the latter case, jealousy and envy can seem closely knitted together. I would say though that the gut of both still hasn’t changed. Jealousy can move one to destroy a relationship. Envy is just wanting what someone else has without the emotional pressure to do something about it other than to look for your own piece of that universal joy.

But you know how does that work when two people have the same piece of pie? Can you have the same relationship with someone that someone else has with that same someone? Hmmm, that’s a little confusing. ( At least to me and I’m writing this shit.) So let me create some peoples.

Blam!!!!!!

Albert, Becky and Carl are a threesome. Albert and Becky met first; they are married. Carl comes along and joins the family. ( For reals, not that fake “sure you’re apart of the family” that some people dole out.) They all live together.

Carl loves Becky a great deal. Sometimes he wishes he were the one married to her. He thinks it might be nice to have that with her, but he won’t push it because he walked into the relationship fully understanding that Becky leaving Albert was the ultimate limit to what the three could have. Yet, Carl still dreams of it...

I’d call that envy.

Now for jealousy. ( This should be fun!!!)

Albert likes Carl. Carl’s a bit younger, maybe a little more fit. Big Al’s not packing the muscle like Carl is. Maybe Albert thinks Carl is funnier, smarter, maybe Carl makes more money than Albert. Who knows? Jealousy is weird. It picks anything to freak over and sometimes it freaks over the silliest of things. Maybe Albert is intimated because Carl is blonde…
Anyway, Albert hates to leave Carl alone with Becky. He promises them time, but he always comes home early or has to break the date. He’s constantly manipulating the situation and using his power to get what he wants.
Becky is upset but she doesn’t know what to do. She just wants to have some quality time with Carl, that’s all. She loves Albert and she would never leave him. She’d like to love Carl the same way, but Albert won’t seem to let it.
Carl is at a loss. He cares for both Albert and Becky. He wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize their marriage, but then he wants to have some time with Becky. Albert is married to Becky, she sleeps in his bed every night, they have had 10 years together, what more does he want?

Albert has let his insecurities take over and he’s not playing nice. He’s tossing his weight around and holding Becky and Carl emotionally hostage. Neither Becky nor Carl want to upset Albert to the point he wants to back out on this, but they want to be happy, too.

Okay so this isn’t Danielle Steel material, but you know a lot of poly jealousy is like this. It’s very covert at times. In this scenario Albert is creating animosity and manipulating the situation. He is constantly forcing Becky to choose him over Carl. He is making both of them feel his “primary power”. In the end, this is going to build resentment. It’s going to harm the relationships, all of them, A to B, B to C, A to C.

And it’s going to prevent compersion.

Ah, compersion. That’s such a soft fluffy word.

If Albert and Carl hit it off, if the two of them give each other respect and space and the most precious of all things, time with their lovers they will build compersion. They will be happy to see the other happy with Becky. They won’t feel cheated of anything so they won’t mind seeing the other one cuddled up on the couch watching TV.

I mean, in the icky situation do you see Carl smiling happily while Albert cuddles up to Becky? He didn’t get his night with her. He hasn’t had any quality time. I doubt he will smile a wit that isn’t filled with “Albert you suck.”

Yeah, I made Albert the bad guy. This blog is for secondaries after all.. We can all go find a page written form the primary view that is full of fears of what Carl may do. I say fuck Albert he’s an ass. J

But you get what I’m touching on right?

Maybe not because I haven’t really made a point yet. Let’s see if I can sum it up.

Jealousy and envy are different.
Jealousy bad.
Envy good. ( Well, okay.)
If you allow jealousy to run you, you can destroy your relationships.
Actively acting on jealousy hampers compersion.
Compersion is the goal for happy poly.

If you don’t confront jealousy it will make things hard. Face it, communicate it, deal with it, move on.

Oh, if it were only that easy.


Oh shit!!! I forgot, Can you have the same relationship??? Can Albert have the same thing with Becky that Carl has and vice versa?

Hell no. Each combination has its own dynamic and personality. Each person brings their own experience, creativity, joy, and baggage to their relationships. I’ve got leopard print luggage. You have a mish mash of JC Penny discards. We carry our sets on the flight and we have our own unique parade of wheeled luggage. Albert has moss green luggage that looks like birds shit on it. Not the same, totally not the same.

And you should be proud of it, proud of what you can offer not upset about what you can’t.

Gosh, maybe I should think about outlines.

...

http://en.allexperts.com/q/BDSM-2733/Entering-poly-relationship.htm

Topic: BDSM

---

Expert: awhitecloud
Date: 10/3/2007
Subject: Entering a poly relationship

Question
What can i expect from a poly D/s relationship if i am the third? i am new to the lifestyle and have been reaserching about it, but i can't find any websites that caters to Poly D/s relationships. Could you please help me?

0){w('Get the answer below
');zSB(1,3);w('
')}Answer
here are some links that might help!

http://community.livejournal.com/polybdsm

http://www.polygrrl.blogspot.com/ this site is all about Poly and being a secondary

http://www.polyamoryonline.org/interviews/poly_interview_101805.html

http://www.wintersinn.com/thoughts.htm

http://www.dmoz.org/Society/Relationships/Alternative_Lifestyles/Polyamory/Perso...

http://boston.polyamory.org/polycol/polycol-10.html

http://www.steel-door.com/polygamy.htm This is a nice overview

I do not think that being third can be that much different then being the second or the fourth or so one. The only major differences I have found is at the top and the alpha and everyone needing to work together.

I have been in a few poly relationships it is a lot of work for all concerned, you most be able to give and take. Have you seen the show Big Love on HBO? Well it has some good concepts on poly I do not think it fits over all into what things really are like but it does touch on some good things. You can learn more about the show on www.hbo.com and go to big love.

The biggest thing I have found is that you need to have communication and not to hold things inside of you that you may be feeling. You need to be able to deal with the feelings and to talk about them openly and to work through them.

I hope that this has helped you some and if you have more questions please contact me I will do my best to help you.

Thank you

awhitecloud

...

Family

A basic foundation of support for each other as a family
Lifestyle Friends

Imperfect human beings who found some comfort in the living together in some manner together in the D/s lifestyle 24/7




That's what we do

And as the top of the food chain in this D/s relationship
I am proud to say that we have been more blessed together
As we live and learn each other more
We grow

And that is what many of you fail to find
Because you seek a unfair reality as to what this lifestyle is about in general

D/s in some ways is like adult parenthood
Some ways it's like a group or gang
Family in kink
A crew

And I can honestly say that the road has not been easy
But it has it's rewards
Because the other moments we spend away from the Dungeons
The moments we live vanilla lives apart in some manner
We still support each other as grown adults of like minds

And many come and go in our lives and lifestyles
But our foundation is built on a lifetime commitment to respect each other as individuals
And then as friends
And then as family in a Poly D/s lifestyle

And there is room for growth
Together
And we all support anyone who respects what we do together

In our own style
In our own lives

Together

And even though I am the top of the food chain in this relationship
I am only as good as we all are to each other

And as long as we can support each other
As long as we provide positive energy to each of us as a family

Nothing is impossible together

And it takes more time than a few meet and greets
It takes more time than a few sessions
It takes more time than a few ups and downs
It takes time to learn each other more



It is what it is for us


Poly D/s
Pimpstyle
*wicked grin*


Not that any of you need to understand what we do or not
But we know that the most important objective
Is to be productively supportive to each other as a D/s Poly Family

All we ask is that you understand that we respect this lifestyle
That we do

And if you are about being more in these lifestyles than without them?

Then maybe we are at least on the same page


Maybe we can learn from each other as a BDSM lifestyle community

And maybe not

But for us


D/s
S&M
Open Sexual expression
SSC

Is what we respect
Together


And for that we have been blessed
To have these lifestyles as a basic format
As to how to add more style to our lives
And respect each other
And the Pimpstyle House as a whole

And today I just want to thank everyone who has been productive
To us
To our way of life
To our lifestyle as adult POCs in a SSC manner

So for me
AMP Sir Ez
Loki

Mlfu
Mlfd
And all that my fall under consideration in the days to come

We wish you all a better chance in finding what works for you
And youres

At least in these sexual lifestyles










respect

Sadist are funny... To some people.

Respecting the Sadistic mindset?

It's funny how different a Sadistic mind thinks

UNLIKE NORMAL THINKING PEOPLE

We all tend to see even humor in a different light

Here is how the convo went...

One day Little Johnny heard a noise and peeked into his parents room to check it out. He opened the door to see his mom bent over the dresser and dad going at it behind her. Johnny's dad saw him and gave him a little wink as Johnny closed the door. After business was finished Dad went to check on little Johnny. He opened his bedroom door to find Grandma bent over the dresser and little Johnny going at it behind her. Dad yelled, "Johnny, what the hell are you doing?!" Little Johnny replied, "It's not so funny when its your mom is it?!" HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!

Master Pimp Ez
Priceless!

sunsetlady0708
lol
i say yuck

Master Pimp Ez
lol
I bet grand ma was the bomb
lol

sunsetlady0708
??


Master Pimp Ez
a joke?
Johnny was a sadist


sunsetlady0708
lol


Master Pimp Ez
it didn't have anything to do with the grandma


sunsetlady0708
no he wanted his pops to suffer


Master Pimp Ez
DUH!


sunsetlady0708
he really didnt have an open mind on the matter
he could have talk it out with his poops


Master Pimp Ez
And your point?
What would a Sadist do?
He was talking it out
the same way


sunsetlady0708
well to stop that young child from reaching that point... he should have minded his pops and just ask what they were doing... pops would have told him that , that is what mommy and daddy do
then johnny would not have gone there beccause granny wasnt his
how i get them to sshhhhhs


Master Pimp Ez
No
The grandma that Johnny was fuckin
Was his FATHERS mother
He was his step son


sunsetlady0708
still a mommy and daddy thing


Master Pimp Ez
Can I use this convo for a blog?
With your permission?


sunsetlady0708
lol noooooooooooo
i might sound stupid
most moms ands dads teach kids that that is what they do


Master Pimp Ez
Come on man...we can call it a joke of the week...lol
I'll take your name off of it


sunsetlady0708
so because of that johnny had no reason to do granny if pops explained it to him


Master Pimp Ez
no
because it was a great convo
I think all of this is great!
Ok


sunsetlady0708
are you going to just use the JOKE
and not our conversation


Master Pimp Ez
I am asking for your ok for me to p[ost your name as it is or take it off when I do this post
what say you?
*blank stare*


sunsetlady0708
are you posting the joke
posting the joke is ok
thanks for asking
now i feel bad cause you were so polite about asking
so in the note you may post the whole thing
and you dont have to block my name out



And that is how this joke became funnier


But what is more funny?

The first joke?

Or the way the joke turned out?



(this post was reposted with the consent of said parties)



respect

Session in kink

Respecting the flesh?

She entered my door
And fell to the floor
She knew that she had no clue what was in store
But she new she wanted more

And she lay at my feet in defeat
In the position
Of submission

She noticed I have pretty feet.
I noticed that she had sexy hands and feet too.
And limber
That fine young tender
I could not wait to bend her
In every direction
As she worshiped my erection
She made the right selection in her submission
Her lust for a Dominant position

Her servitude was her own condition


I allowed her to explore my flesh with her hands and her feet
This kinky little freak was not weak
And she was to get more than she could seek

As I answered her last question
We started the session
...

Respecting your fresh flesh
I love your fetish of feet
With warm pudding

"Fresh meat, so sweet!"

I love your dexterity

Your limbs are so talented
So are mine
As I squeeze your nipples with my toes
You know where your mouth goes
And you have good taste and it shows

As my lust grows
It blows your mind
To know that it's mine
And I am greedy
Not needy
I just want to hear you plead with me to stop

Because I'm not!
Just because you are getting too hot?

"You better give it all you got!"

Because tonight we are gonna find a few new spots

To explore

Soil you worse than a whore
And make you beg for more
Of me

Because your fetish is to please me
And I'm nasty
I do not fear being damn near ghastly
Nothing to freaky to get past me


Because I am gonna make your ass see
My fetish is the wettest fantasy
This is more than just kinky
But SSC

This is personally
Respecting your flesh
Respecting my flesh



And then the session ended the warm up stage

"Yes my pet, you will be my slave"

Now turn that ass around and try to behave

*wicked grin*

I strapped her to the work out bench
And began to pinch
Every inch

She was bound
And gaged to not make a sound
At least that would have the cops to come around

Because I am about to get down
And durty

"Lawd, this aint gonna be purty"

As I opened my kinky toy case
I could see the fear on her face

She came for pleasure and pain
And she did not complain

And I ravaged her senses
And her only defenses
Was the surprise with each sensation I gave her
Only made her
WETTER


" I think I better get her a new box of wet wipes "

*snicker*

Because tonight
She might
Just fight
For her right
To find sub flight

From tickle to to terror
I would dare her to scream her safe word

And she suffered the most intense pleasure and pain
And did not complain

She just drifted off to her special place

With that silly spent look on her face

She had did her best
To find a better respect for her flesh
My flesh
My fetish
My freaky kink
That took her to the brink
Until she could not think
Just be

Because her flesh belonged to me



respect