Bravo President Obama. Today You became a Black Man in America.

I'm still abuzz over President Obama's speech today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eVYNWXttsw

First because he admitted what so many Black Men know too well and often complain to deaf ears of others...
There is a stigma of FEAR and Distrust of Black Dominant Men in the eyes of others who have their own personal impression of them in general.
THAT in it's self was the most HONEST and Truthful statement I have heard ANY politician ever admit!
And He admitted that the Legal system is unfairly tilted towards THAT stigma of Black Dominant Men and it NEEDS to be reformed.

But what gets Me most of all is the APATHY from so many other non Black Men who want to debate the personal impression FROM a Black Male Perspective.

Maybe because just like American slavery, white people HATE to feel they too are to blame for something they inherited. Just like how some want to claim that race is not a issue and they WISH people would stop playing the race card.

But here was the President of this country admitting that he has been treated like Trayvon was treated in stores and on the streets of this country.

And THAT was monumental!

Because APATHY means...Lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of general importance or appeal; indifference. 2. Lack of emotion or feeling; impassiveness.

And THAT is bigorty and not just racism.

And this issue NEEDS to be honestly embraced by everyone.
Truthfully...

Because it's not a black thing.
It's a Black Dominant Male thing.

And the most powerful black man in this country admitted it!

Now we can deal with it.
And not act like it is not a issue that effects all of us.
Especially being that this country was built on the backs of black male labor too.
The first Man to due for this country's freedom was a black man.
And Carter G Wilson was right!

We NEED a whole month to remember that Black Men and women are worth the same respect given to so many others so many other Americans claim made this country what it is to them.

Apathy is not a a act of pride.
Empathy is...

But THAT complicates everything now.
When the President of this country admits that BECAUSE of his color, he has been treated differently than others of other races.

And because so many Americans do not have to have empathy for minorities without questioning their own actions?

This has become a issue we all have to take too deep of a personal reflection of our own mentality.

Like Paula Dean...
She is not a racist.
She's a bigot with racist tendencies.
And she is not alone.

We as Americans have some soul searching to do.

And hearing President Obama admit that 35 years ago or so he was Trayvon Martin was a start...

respect

The lost art of being a lady...

I found Myself having one of them OLD PEOPLE moments.

I was just thinking about how MUCH times have changed people to such a degree that we no longer remember or desire a certain TYPE of image of people that USED to be more impressive enough to make people strive to impersonate that image.

Like that image of a LADY.

Not just womanhood in general.

Not that uppidy socialite who judges her suitors by their pedigree.

But...

That Female pride and power we used to see in women who knew they had what it takes to bring a Man to his knees or raise him to his highest heights because she had that power to be that helpmate the bible advertised.

That empowerment in knowing that they could cook and clean and sew and take care of their family because THAT was a requirement of being a woman.

They was trained to a certain point in how to be a LADY and not just a female.

They learned as they grew up the ART of seduction.

Not how to look or act sexy, but how to attract a man's attention without causing them to consider you to be a cheap thrill.

That respect for being the kind of woman that a man wanted to come home to no matter where he's been or with whomever.

The most important duty was to ALWAYS be a LADY.

And I'm blessed to at least know that My child found her own lady like identity naturally. But so many others have not or don't even know how...

But I'm not talking about the younger generation.

I'm talking about these OLDER women who have no idea why so many men are so turned off by them.

Their attitude is worse than these young women.

They have no respect for Men in general or the ability to at least offer each Man a chance to be worthy of a better respect than what they offer men in general.

That ability to make each person feel special or different just because they are interested in them for some reason.

They seem so caught up in what they want or how they want to feel that they have lost the ability to even notice that they lack the ability to show their intrest in that man that is trying to earn their affection.

But what is worst is the thought of how THEY will react when you bring to their attention that THEY are not coming off as if they are THAT interested in getting to know what is so special about the man they are with.

Men tend to want to learn what it is that they see in them that makes them special enough to be with THAT woman.

There is NOTHING worse than noticing that the person you are with has no intrest in you more than what is superficial.

Like any ole man will do.

Just be good to them.

But here's the deep part.

What is a man's motivation in wanting to be with a woman other than momentary self gratification?

As a Grown Ass Man in today's society?

I have to admit.

I miss that image of them real strong ladies who knew what being a lady was about and was ready to prove it...

Now we have strong women and independent females.

And their impression of what all men are like.

respect

The end of the community you wanted to be...

I'm thinking of the dynamic called community.

Not just the type you pick and choose.

But the kind of dynamic that has become so easy to use and abuse enough to rethink how we ALL respect the instinct called Community.

Like how right now Washington DC is talking about how we need Community support in our educational system more.

Like never before...

But what do you really know about being a community where you are right now more than you have been?

And why is what I'm talking about more of a personal problem for everyone including every one of you reading this.

Because I miss the dynamic I remember seeing called a community. 

And if this is the end of a era?

Let it be the end of each one of us trying to fool ourselves and everyone around us as to how we see our communities globally and not just locally.

Because these crack babies aint no different than these somebody's child.

And they all are gonna go wild if we let them.

But first...

We all have to be better communities.

Globally.

And NOT locally.

respect

My life is worth more than I let others define Me.

Ok, I'm back after quite a bit of prayer and meditation over quite a lot of personal emotions I have been suppressing this holiday season like so many years in My past.
And what I have to say may not be comfortable for a lot of people but I have to get this out...
*evil stare*
I have never felt the pain of that son who took the lives of so many along with his parents today.
I don't endorse his actions but I can relate to a certain type of pain he must have been suffering from in theory...
See..
ALL of My life has been a dirty little secret wrapped in shame and neglect.
From My conception that has been hidden in a certain shame that I never got the REAL TRUTH about who My real father is or was and why I have been considered the devil to My own mother on more occasions than I can remember or she will admit too.
To the whole story of how My grandmother really died and why so many people who remember My Grandfather kept calling Me his son.
To the reason why nobody has ever been able to find My real father who's name was Lewis Davis and on record in the city records of Pittsburgh Pa, but nobody wants to explain who was that guy My mother took with us on a ride to find out where My real father may have moved too the last time I went back home.
To all of the memories from My childhood that My family recalls how I saved us from being abandoned by both My parents on several occasions and yet every time I mention them days everyone wants to forget what part I played in sacrificing so much of My own childhood for the greater good of My family who has no problem with distancing their families from Me for the greater portion of My adult life.
To My issue with so many people I have befriended who have had no remorse in saving themselves and leaving Me alone with no repayment of the friendship I gave them in their growth.
To all the ugly answers to all the ugly questions My parents avoided and guarded to death before offering Me what I have been begging for all of My life.
To the reality that I have watched more people seclude Me from being considered as important as many of them in their new found memberships into these social orders they respect over their own family.
To the lack of actual concern for My own emotional need to be treated like I have treated others.
Yeah...
I have been dealing with quite a lot of issues My whole life.
Especially around the holiday seasons because I have now spent more of them alone than around the so called family and friends these holidays were ment to revolve around.
And yet I have struggled with My own personal respect for humanity while searching for that same definition in the many unforgotten memories of My own at the hands of so many who ave been close to Me due to My own devotion to supporting a cause that I have never been offered in return.
Yeah, I have had many days and nights that I questioned My own worth when I remember all the things I have sacrificed for others only to end up alone more than lonely.
And only this strange spirituality that I have found has kept Me from damning humanity as a whole for being so selfishly committed to a faith they surely do not honor as much as they use as a reason to turn their backs on so many in the name of their own reality.

And I had another one of them coming to Jesus moments today.
And I prayed over My issues and I meditated to calm My frustrations over so many reasons I have to curse humanity as it stands in the heads and hearts of so many who have no problem turning their backs on so many others as they cause more of what is happening today as the world shifts into a new age and energy.

And what I have come to the conclusion of is this...

I would rather live alone without anyone who can not understand My own personal convictions and emotional concerns than allow them to make Me more bitter towards humanity it's self.

I have found a better purpose where I am today.

I am worth more to so many who don't know Me personally from a distance than many of the people who claim to have been "closestly" related too. Because somehow they have been able to point out to Me My worth when I have sat in confusion as to why I am here on Earth. 

And I don't care who does not like what I have to say about My own personal feelings at this point.

I know, I am not perfect.
I know I do not belong to any importance other than why GOD placed Me here.
I know that I will never be one of them other people who live life to the fullest.
I know that the only thing wrong with Me is that I have been allowing the treatment of others define who I am today.
And I'm done...

I'm done caring about people who can not understand why I don't feel cared for...
I'm done allowing others to have too much of My time for My own personal need to be important to others...
I'm done trying to reach out to others who don't have anything productive to offer Me in return.

I'm done with not telling My story for the sake of not exposing the pain connected to My own conception.
I'm done with being ashamed to be of un pure blood.
I'm done with allowing anyone, including My family and friends, to devalue My need for love and respect as is.

And I will never let anyone try to fool Me into believing that what I have in My life to date is due to My own contribution in their lives.

I am a Island.

*evil grin*

GOD made Me who I am.

And the ONLY person I have to impress?
Is Myself.

I am a enigma.
But I'm alive because GOD believes in Me more than everyone else that made Me who I am to them.

December 21st 2012 is not a end.
It's a beginning.
And people are biodegradable because GOD made us that way.

respect

 Days like this makes you wonder what kind of faith base do people really follow?

Ok, we all played the politics game for a whole year.

And yet, nobody has been rounded up and deported for being in the wrong party in the history of this country.

Unlike Africa and many other countries in power in our history, who sold the spoils of war into slavery.

It's still America.

And we all still have the same damn issues.

We are not a 3rd world.

But to hear some today complain about their party being out numbered at the poles?

Depression, fear and even panic over the results of this election really causes reason to be concerned as to what is really wrong with so many Americans today.

As a whole.

On boh sides.

It was a fair fight.

Now, let's make up and not act like sore losers or winners.

Because as voting American adults?

We all know that our money has IN GOD WE TRUST for good reason.

But you have to wonder what is the excuse of so many people facing so many different emotions over their impression of how any party is going to ease our concerns over the lack of comfort that money offers us?

The Devil only has one power over simple humans.

Suggestion.

In GOD we trust.

In politics we loose our damn minds.

respect

The 3 wise Men. Rest in Peace

Now that I got a moment to reflect back on the losses in My family heritage that I need to take a moment to speak on...

Rest in peace Uncle Mike.

Now before yall go sending condolences and prayers again?

*evil stare*

Let Me explain something deeper about the family I know...

Uncle Mike was My pops LITTLE Brother.

And they was BOTH Gangstas.

My pops was a Gangsta for the "Movement" and for civil rights.

Uncle Mike was a Gangsta for His people and the family.

And then there was Uncle Sonny.

*smh*

Uncle Sonny was Voice of Reason. The Ultimate Gangsta.

These 3 Men have all passed in the course of a few years from each other, a year a part.

And what I remember about these 3 Men, was that they all held family, freedom, and a good reason to hustle with respect for all of that and how it effected each other.

I only got a chance to meet and talk with Uncle Mike one time as a adult. Right before My pops passing. And the next time I heard from Him was right after My pops passed.

Two times that ment more to Me than having known Him all My life. He told Me about My pops, His older brother. The missing pieces.

And I kinda wish I knew more about Uncle Mike.

I know I liked Him the first time I met Him.

I knew He liked Me too, and My Gangsta Family, as is too.

I knew each one of these MOST important Men in My life were all three different but the same.

They was good peoples.

And they was good peoples to good peoples and nothing to mess with with bad people.

And they didn't talk the talk.

They didn't brag on their dirt.

The respect the reasons why they fought so hard for all of us to have a moment today to remember them.

In peace.

And that's what I'm doing.

Remembering them.

Taking it all in.

In peace.

And I'm so blessed to have no other memories greater than these three Men in My life.

And that's 3 less phone calls when I got shit in My head that is causing the weather to send a signal for them to reach out and call Me just when I needed it.

That's 3 of the most important Men in My life that I no longer have to worry about dying anymore.

That's 3 less people on this earth that knew Me better than I know Myself.

That is not a loss.

That is My life.

And I'm still here.

Living with their memory.

Knowing that I may just be that Man one day to My family.

And they remember Me.

In peace.

Peace is relative.

We live to relax, relate, and to release.

The only thing we have is our relatives.

And our friends.

I'm am more blessed as is...

Because heaven/paradise has 3 Good Men watching over their relatives too.

So I'm gonna sit back and relax.

I'm glad some of you can relate.

And I want to believe that all sadness has been released.

Ashe

respect

The New Jack backlash in parenting and BDSM?

Crack really fucked up family values.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2NWEJbVAdw&feature=relmfu

It divided generations with disrespect.

It caused adults to suffer the denial that it even existed.

While todays youth loose respect for the older generation because their actions in the eyes of the youth have made them the weakest link.

Many of them are secret crack babies and children of alcoholics that now have evolving DNA that prevents them from finding answers at the source first.

Because the worst thing a parent can do is lie to a child about what is going on with them, when they don't know how much damage they created in them when they made them.

This is not just about single parenting.

It's about what caused so many adults to FAIL at being better parents to their children and better friends to their mates.

Some will fair better than others by luck or default. 

### *Pimpish Stare*

No offense to anyone, butt...

Todays adults...

Many of them.

Are not just hypocrites.

They are pussies.

And these kids are really angry and confused because they see, feel and know that todays society is evolving into infinite possibilities but these adults are not, have not, and in many cases will not evolve far enough to be honest and truthful with them past their own dysfunctional upbringings of past generations that fucked their heads up with their failure to practice what they preached.

And now we got these newer generations that have less obstacles socially and sexually, but are too young to know why their parents are having such a hard time evolving now.

And then there is BDSM.

wicked grin

In a day and age where historic numbers of less committed adults try to explain to themselves why they have so many issues that prevent them from forming more stable relationships while raising their children in single or fractured values of selfish desires and secret lust that they fear their children will inherit.

But, as I wonder how so many people omitted the title's clue to sobriety?

I find another opportunity to include mental dysfunctions as yet another silent killer of honest family values and constructive parenting.

evil grin

Let the parents with less sin cast the first stone at the glass house of present day evolution.

Children learn from what they see that is hidden from them more than what is attempted to be played in front fo them.

Like mom and dad's denial of their own deficiencies while omitting the honesty they crave.

And how in the fuck they think they can teach them how to beter utilize these BDSM tricks of the trade when they too have kinky lust forming with no format of SSC, or RACK or whatever.

So let's be honest.

Sex is a act that creates an effect in the human brain that compares to drugs like crack and heroin and even alcohol is not enough to blame for their parents sexual deficiencies.

And yet, here we are trying to make sense of the OP?

While the effects of the Earth's shifting into a new age is too deep for parents to notice in 2012.

And maybe THAT is what Nostradamus was scared shitless about too?

I don't know about many of you personally.

But I do know that many of you have kids or know others with kids who are struggling with trying to find a better image of what they wish they could teach their kids to look for in a mate.

But they hate the fate they may have passed on to the next generation just in the past 30 years of their memory of how their parents survived the 80s, 90s and the past 12 years of this new century.

And I will admit.

That I am more worried about todays adults than I am about todays children.

Because it's not about how well you think you have not fucked up their image of adulthood.

It's how in the hell do you think your gonna fix it while trying to find some form of stability in the BDSM community?

Really...

.

respect