The DL issue revisited...

This topic keeps popping up in relationship threads all over the net.

And yet and still, the same comments result in the issue being first a issue with men who are DL and not equally yoked.

And most importantly the issue behind the stigma of being bi or gay but not open about it to your Hetro mates.

So first I want to paste a comment I offered on someone's post about this subject and then I want to get deeper on this subject.

Actually your giving these men too much credit.

*Evil Stare*

When you really look at the past generations of people we have not known of their sexual polarity? You will notice that our society seemed to have been structured in hiding their sexuality while requiring many of them to look and act perfectly Hetro.

They got married and even had kids in pairs of couples to hide their connection between the polarities. They formed social clubs for men and women for the same reasons. While today, we are more exposed to the need to know who is who solely because of the AIDS epidemic more than their sexual polarities.

So the REAL question is now, WHY other than AIDS and STDs is their a concern about the sexual polarity of other possible mates.

When in many cases what people have been taught in the past as to who is a good mate and how men and women should react towards each other has now forced many to question their ability to understand the sexual nature of everyone.

And here's the kicker!

Most women who complain about DL men seldom notice how attracted they are to Bi Men in theory.

Just like how they consider men to be Dominant by doing things that are more submissive than Dominant.

And the more vanilla people are? The less they know.

And even worse. The less they can handle if in fact they knew.

And we now know that being Bi or Gay does not make you any less of a person.

Other than your ability to be truthful or at least honest.

So it's just not as simple as single people being any more or less in danger of being with a bi or gay mate until you include both men and women into the math.

It's not as simple as finding out that your man likes his prostrate stimulated or even that your man likes to suck penis. And then wishing he would be open enough to let you do it so he don't have to lie or creep to do it with strange dudes.

*wicked grin*

Having bi or gay tendencies are not as simple as the acts of sex they get into more than it is about who as well. Some men lust for male contact just like some women. So saying you want to replace their choice is just like when men want to tell a lesbian that they don't need to get a strap on or have a woman eat her coochie.

And even the Craigs list "cruising" for strange fruit is just as much a part of their desires as finding someone. The thril of the chase or even the act of cruising is a lifestyle choice for some. Just like ladies night out with the girls or a anonamous bootycall.

If you can't understand that men are pretty much just like women and with that there are just as many women on the DL and men. Then you can not be fair enough to deal with the issue.

Even the Spartan soldiers were known to be at least bi if not gay and they were some of the most fears soldiers in history. Or how about the Greeks being known for the men having sex with each other as a way of not getting a woman violated...lol

So the problem here is somehow there is something that you (women) seem to not be able to deal with very well...

And this DL issue may be as difficult as HOW do you openly talk about men and women on the DL without assuming that what either of them like sexually with whoever may cause you to belittle them as a man or a woman just like Hetro men and women.

Maybe women can't handle the truth and that is why many of them are not told the truth?

So what if your a strong enough woman to be willing to handle being open with your possible mate and being able to earn their trust to be open with you?

Now peep this...

How prepared are you to first deal with the possibility of learning that up until that person met you, they may have HAD to live a double life?

How ready are you to openly communicate your concerns with JUST being concerned with your trust being violated more than being sexually different?

What are you ready to allow if you are told that their lust for others is something deeper than the ability to give up, even if they love someone they need to have that part of their life in their life?

Would you try to assist them in having that dual connection in their sexual nature?

Can you deal with providing communication with your possible mate in confidence that you will never out them?

How will that effect your image of that person's manhood?

How prepared are you to be nurturing and respectful of their ego, knowing what you may find out to be how they are?

*wicked grin*

It's not a easy road to travel with anyone. And it is only worth whatever you feel it is worth to you and how well you can connect with your possible mate.

Deep huh?  

"a great deal of men who live a double life are in denial and simply aren't willing to come clean because they haven't accepted their own reality..."

Great statement!

So peep this...

How can anyone accept something they have lerned from everyone to be shameful? Like being born gay.

Who else can you come out too?

Think about the amount of closed minded people who will NEVER allow themselves to be THAT open to accept homosexuality, bisexuality like they do heterosexuality.

Some people consider THAT kind of secret so deep and dark that they hide in plane sight in dark places many call respectable secret groups and orders just because...

respect

Ok

I want to bring up a point here...

I personally do not see any difference in DL women and men on the DL other than society allowing women to excuse their unstable sexual urges as just being a woman.

But what concerns Me the most is our ability to evolve past the negative image of alternative sexuality in a so called heterosexual world.

Our sexuality does not make us who we are.

But our ability to not allow our sexuality to define us is of big concern.

Just because even if you don't feel you are effected by this issue.

Think again.

Our homophobic mentality has caused a great divide between many who are out and others who are not able to be out in their lives just because society will not allow it.

And that is more dangerous than being on the down low and not having any way of finding safer practices to indulge in with others who wish the same.

Maybe we should question our own personal morality just like we question our spirituality?

Because our basic sexual polarities are as natural as our physical structure.

But we all have been conditioned to shun what we can't handle.

And maybe it's time to stop running from reality.

Even if that reality is darker than we wish it to be.

It's not just about us.

It's about everyone.

And respecting who we are no matter what our sexual orientation is.

It's better to know than to be clueless.

Or is it?

respect