Lack of knowledge of each other enough to wish to care for them better than the need for selfish indulgence
But in a D/s, BDSM type relationship
It is the submissive that is most important
The submissive has the most important duty
Knowledge and concern for their Dominants health and welfare
First and foremost
The more the submissive is aware of the mental and physical condition and how to support the needs of said Dominant
The more possible it is to care and protect your Dominants health and welfare as the top and head of said house
I read and hear so many people claim that they are a submissive
And they may be submissive by nature or desire
But in real time?
The true tell of their abilities is how well they take care of the said Dominant that they have chosen to serve
Service to your ONE is a responsibility
The desire to honor and respect their importance and their need to be cared for too
Knowing how to better show compassion and concern for the value of your Provider is not just a good idea
But your most important duty
If you are concerned about whom provides for you
*blank stare*
I made a comment on a topic of why there are very few known POC Poly relationships
These lifestyles are still NEW to Black American people and others of color who deal with others of color.
They were still lynching Black Men for even THINKING of being with a white woman in the early 60s.
Polyamory was a secret in the black community.
But it was communal living with a certain respect for the community social structure.
We all remember someone who had another wife in another state or city.
But todays People Of Color have been raised to "stay out of grown folks business" or "keep it in the dark" or "do as I say and not as I do". And in many cases, People of color were NEVER told the true histories of their genetic evolution or their secret lives and loves and how they lasted longer than most would believe.
People of color in these lifestyles were never told about the deeper struggles and realities of the sexualities and kinks that was respected for it's need to stay private but respected when done with respect for the social respect for the culture they were bound by.
So today we lack the ability to learn the shameful truths of many before us who lived their secret lives in kink and sexual differences.
We have been Straight, Gay, Bi, DL, Freaky, and Kinky just like every other human on this earth from almost the beginning of time in theory. But the proof could set us a bit more free. IF we could see how. But pride and shame caused our heritage to be loss in fear of being wrong and even sinful.
The only sin we have suffered from is the silence of a culturally rich race(s) of people of color that has evolved into a openly free race of people who NOW are sexually free to become more open and blessed to be blessed adults.
So how does the POLY issue seem to be as difficult for many POCs who now have the freedom to explore more openly their freedoms?
yet, for some reason, mostly cultural and religious conditioning and teachings, POCs have feared the ability to respect the advantages of a Poly Dynamic. And the few who have found some form of structure in this style of life seldom record what works for them and publicize it for others to reflect upon.
Thank GOD for the Net, huh?
Well, for Me and Mines...
I have found more peace in being Poly in My journey with others who have found this attractive to them as well.
The support of each others everyday issues and the support given to and for each other emotionally as well as physically...ect.
This is adult parenthood and everyone is considered important like a child is to the parent.
Sex, is and has always been a the most powerful action of the body. Likened only to extreme drugs as to how it can effect the emotional and mental stability and control over realities and truth.
Now when you are dealing with more than your primary mate in a sexual nature? EACH person will suffer from NORMAL human emotional reactions to everything.
FAITH in the direction and purpose of your union is helpful, but all parties have to be on the same page.
It's not what emotion can occur when your faith and insecurities effect your mentality.
It's what you do to alter the outcome and reaction to your emotional lack of control of your realities.
Poly is not easy, but can become a supportive force in your direction as a family or even a gang!
But for POCs?
We have become so emotionally neglected that many of us suffer from our own fear of abandonment. We feel a need to become the object of importance. And we fear competition for attention. Socially we are timid about being used and abused.
So the reason why so many others have found this style of life more interesting is because for many NON POC cultures. Is because they have a greater ability to conceal their sexual freedom to explore within their own cultures.
You hear us say in public, "White folks is some freaky people", and your right!
So why are we less freaky and even kinky?
Because we live our lives in discomfort of being TOO FREE, just due to past conditioning and fear of being titled Sinful and even dangerous POCs. We live for the exceptance(sp) from the general public. And for "white folks", they ARE the general public.
So being poly for POCs is the biggest obstacle to Master.
Just because we have to work harder to get it right.
And there are too many people who watching and waiting to ridicule you for being greedy and thinking you could get others to support your greed.
And POCs really do care what others may think about them.
So POCs are the LAST group of people to find these lifestyles in the masses.
They are the last people to indulge in these lifestyles.
And many of them have to learn how to invent their lifestyles to suit their culture and conditions they live by.
And it is harder for many POCs because with this amount of exposure to just finding so many people who are open to be sexually free. And THAT is a first for many POCs in general and in history.
And many fear never being able to experience new things and new people when all they have known for so long as been the few around them.
It's a big world out here.
And POCs are just finding more of it to learn more about.
A relationship is hard enough getting, let alone getting right together for any amount of time. With all the advertising and temptations we now have for the first time in history. POCs are stuck between wanting everything they can get. And wanting someone to love, respect and belong to who is down for being with them for life.
You CAN have it all and a few others to share with you in a committed relationship and partnership.
But a Poly relationship is a partnership that you learn how to relate to each other as a team.
And a team is only as strong as it's members and how EACH member supports the whole.
A Poly relationship for POCs with other POCs are built on faith that each other can assist each other in building more faith in each other.
Sex is a dynamic that brings the need to better control your faith that there is more importance in communal partnership and TPE than who's getting more sexual attention.
Communication and openness are task that we all need to master.
Emotions and selfish desires are learned traits we have to defend our minds from preventing us from ourselves.
Time and devotion are utilities driven by a better faith in a unified goal.
Being Poly is not about who and how many you can have sex with.
Being poly is being able to have more emotional support for dealing with everything that comes from sexual manipulation and mental instability and knowing that you have help from others who feel your pain and respect your company.
Playing well with others.
POCs have never been around this many others in their lives. POCs have never known so many different cultures and lifestyles of others. POCs have never been this free to explore and invent their own life's path. POCs have never known the respect of being a individual because they are just now being able to call themselves People of Color.
And none of us are alike. But we are communal by nature.
And for American POCs.
We lack the positive images of how to better add style in our lives in these lifestyles because we have never lived this free to have as much company as we can respect.
And that is the bottom line to this lifestyle...
respect
The importance of DUTY and DEVOTION to each other is a key to getting any relationship right
And as a submissive
DUTY and DEVOTION
Are just as important as obedience
Earning a pride and appreciation for your submission to your ONE
Is your reward
If you are driven for that respect for your submission
The act of submission is the most powerful act preformed when mastered for a purpose other than your self
The ability to convince a Dominant that they are valuable
The ability to support a Dominants goals and needs
The ability to uplift a Dominants ego and self worth
The ability to command a role of support and protection
From the bottom
Without subtracting the need for a Dominants place in your life
Our issues as POCs are no different than many others
There are subtle cultural differences
But other than that?
The only thing that shows the value of your submission
Is how well it looks on the image and stature of whom you serve
And how well you are supported as a valuable submissive to your ONE
We all know that submissives have needs and desires
But seldom do we see why the needs and desires of a Provider are more important in a D/s relationship
If it was not?
It would be a S/d relationship
or
A dysfunctional vanilla relationship
With no direction
The choice is yours
No duty to serve and support for a Dominant?
No support and service for a submissive
Know your duty to serve and support a Dominant?
Know support and service for a submissive
We all have a job to do in this life
It's how well you respect your ability to respect the need to master your own skills and talents
And how well you support the goal of the whole
If all you want is some attention and service?
It's better to pay for what you want
At least you can demand your money's worth
For the service you desire
But if you want more?
You have to earn your worth to whom you seek
That is fair
If you claim to be submissive by nature?
Then know that nature
Respect what that nature is
And be true to that nature
To submit is to give and support
| 1. | to give over or yield to the power or authority of another (often used reflexively). |
| 2. | to subject to some kind of treatment or influence. |
| 3. | to present for the approval, consideration, or decision of another or others: to submit a plan; to submit an application. |
| 4. | to state or urge with deference; suggest or propose (usually fol. by a clause): I submit that full proof should be required. |
| 5. | to yield oneself to the power or authority of another: to submit to a conqueror. |
| 6. | to allow oneself to be subjected to some kind of treatment: to submit to chemotherapy. |
| 7. | to defer to another's judgment, opinion, decision, etc.: I submit to your superior judgment. |
The goal?
To complete a partnership between others who seek to become more complete with the assistance of others who respect their importance and needs to become more complete
Together
As a productive partnership
Submission is not about sex
Sex can happen
But it's more fun when you know your place
And respect why you have a place
In others lives
With you
And how they can not live as productive without you too
Submission is a gift
When given for more reasons than your own
But you have to work for everything you seek
And whom you seek
If you feel up to the task
Or
You know nothing comes for free
So who are you really?
And why do you want something you don't have?
And what would you do to have more?
Are you sure what you offer is worth what you seek?
What if it aint?
respect
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