Nobody is sane, but why complain?

Respecting your imperfections?

The Bible says in 2 Timothy 1:7, “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

I'm not trying to preach to anyone
But this post is about power

The ability to overcome your weaknesses
Through a stronger faith in your blessed self

If you considered yourself a blessed person

And what does this post have to do with these sexual lifestyles?

TPE
Total Power Exchange

The ability to control your own personal energies
And then the ability to exchange and support others

"Play well together in a SSC manner"

All of these Adult Sexual Lifestyles require the ability to control your emotions and enjoy life to the fullest

But it's difficult to deal with everyday struggles of life in general

And in order for anyone to evolve into that degree of adulthood
We first have to respect our imperfections and learn how to adjust our dysfunctions to better suit a productive adulthood

And these lifestyles are not selfish sports

If you are not aware of your own personal actions and reactions
Even if they are learned traits due to conditioning before adulthood

You can not learn how to relate to others enough to enjoy a fruitful adult relationship with anyone
Because you are not aware of your own faults enough to instruct them of your own imperfections
Before they point them out to you and cause conflict

You can not communicate

And communication is the key to any relationship or friendship


Jimi Hendrix
Manic Depression

Lyrics

Manic depression is touching my soul
I know what I want but I just don't know
How to, go about gettin' it
Feeling sweet feeling,
Drops from my fingers, fingers
Manic depression is catchin' my soul

Woman so weary, the sweet cause in vain
You make love, you break love
It's all the same
When it's, when it's over, mama
Music, sweet music
I wish I could caress, caress, caress
Manic depression is a frustrating mess

Well, I think I'll go turn myself off,
And go on down
All the way down
Really ain't no use in me hanging around
In your kinda scene

Music, sweet music
I wish I could caress, caress, caress
Manic depression is a frustrating mess
...

They claim that almost every person in at least this country has some form of mental dysfunction or personality disorder

Most are caused by social and cultural dysfunctions and abuse from childhood that becomes learned traits and personality disorders

And as Americans
Our history as a nation divided culturally and spiritually
Has been the cause of a lack of understanding of the vastness of our own individual personal insecurities

So YOU are not able to consider YOURSELF a part of a mental dysfunctional majority
Because nobody else wants to see themselves included in this theory

So the first act of self awareness is to admit that fear is only as great as you respect it

Fear of dysfunction can cause you to defend your weaknesses

Fear is a threat to your own reality
Because it is a emotion
And emotions are caused by learned traits
Conditioned by individual life experiences

Yet there is no bodily organ that creates emotion

The brain is a organ
The mind is the result of conditioning of the brain

Thus
Emotions effect the mental polarity of the mind
Causing a warped sense of reality

And over 78% of this countries population siffer from some form of Bi Polarism

Bipolar Disorder

What is bipolar disorder?

Bipolar disorder is a mental illness that causes extreme mood swings. This condition is also called manic-depressive illness. It may be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain.

Bipolar disorder sometimes runs in families. If you have a parent who has bipolar disorder, you have a greater chance of having it. Both men and women can have bipolar disorder. People of all ages can have it.

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What are some of the signs of bipolar disorder?

At times, a person who has bipolar disorder may feel very happy, full of energy and able to do anything. The person might not even want to rest when he or she feels this way. This feeling is called mania (say: "may-nee-ah"). At other times, a person who has bipolar disorder may feel very sad and depressed. The person may not want to do anything when he or she feels this way. This is called depression. People with bipolar disorder can quickly go from mania to depression and back again.

Other signs of mania may include the following:

• Feeling very irritable or angry
• Thinking and talking so fast that other people can't follow your thoughts
• Not sleeping at all
• Feeling very powerful and important
• Having trouble concentrating
• Spending too much money
• Abusing alcohol and drugs
• Having sex without being careful to prevent pregnancy or disease

Other signs of depression may include the following:

• No interest or pleasure in things you used to enjoy, including sex
• Feeling sad or numb
• Crying easily or for no reason
• Feeling slowed down, or feeling restless and irritable
• Feeling worthless or guilty
• Change in appetite; unintended change in weight
• Trouble recalling things, concentrating or making decisions
• Headaches, backaches or digestive problems
• Problems sleeping, or wanting to sleep all of the time
• Feeling tired all of the time
• Thoughts about death and suicide

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How is bipolar disorder treated?

Bipolar disorder can be treated by your family doctor. Your family doctor may want you to see a psychiatrist too. You and your doctors will work together to control your mood swings and make sure you stay well.

Bipolar disorder is treated with medicines to stop the mood swings. Mood stabilizers are used to even out highs and lows in your mood. Antidepressant medicine can help reduce the symptoms of depression. Your doctor may add other medicines as you need them. These medicines don't start to work right away, but you will start to notice a difference in your moods after a few weeks. Be sure to take your medicines just as your doctor tells you.

Counseling can help you with stress, family concerns and relationship problems. It's important to get counseling if you have bipolar disorder.

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What can I do to help myself get better?

• Read about bipolar disorder and tell your family what you learn. Your doctor can suggest resources to help you learn more.
• Have a regular routine. Go to bed and wake up at about the same time every day. Eat your meals and exercise at regular times.
• Take your medicine every day, and don't stop taking it even if you start feeling better. Avoid caffeine and over-the-counter medicines for colds, allergies and pain. Ask your doctor before you drink alcohol or use any other medicines.
• Try to avoid stress.
• Learn the early warning signs of your illness. Tell your doctor when you notice changes in your mood or behavior.
• Join a local support group. You and your family can share information and experiences with the support group.

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Other Organizations

• National Alliance for the Mentally Ill
  http://www.nami.org
  Colonial Place Three 2107 Wilson Blvd., Suite 300
  Arlington, VA 22201-3042
  800-950-6264
  
• National Mental Health Association
  http://www.nmha.org
  800-969-NMHA (800-969-6642)
  
• Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
  http://www.dbsalliance.org/
  730 N. Franklin St., Suite 501
  Chicago, IL 60610-7204
  800-826-3632
  

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Source

Written by familydoctor.org editorial staff.

Management of Bipolar Disorder by KS Griswold, M.D., M.P.H. and LF Pessar, M.D. (American Family Physician September 15, 2000, http://www.aafp.org/afp/20000915/1343.html)

...

Alternative Names:

Blues; Discouragement; Gloom; Mood changes; Sadness; Melancholy

Considerations:

Depression is generally ranked in terms of severity -- mild, moderate, or severe. The degree of your depression, which your doctor can determine, influences how you are treated. Symptoms of depression include:

• Trouble sleeping or excessive sleeping
• A dramatic change in appetite, often with weight gain or loss
• Fatigue and lack of energy
• Feelings of worthlessness, self-hate, and inappropriate guilt
• Extreme difficulty concentrating
• Agitation, restlessness, and irritability
• Inactivity and withdrawal from usual activities
• Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness
• Recurring thoughts of death or suicide

Low self esteem is common with depression. So are sudden bursts of anger and lack of pleasure from activities that normally make you happy, including sex.

Depressed children may not have the classic symptoms of adult depression. Watch especially for changes in school performance, sleep, and behavior. If you wonder whether your child might be depressed, it's worth bringing to a doctor's attention.

Other common forms of depression include:

• Postpartum depression -- many women feel somewhat down after having a baby, but true postpartum depression is rare.
• Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) -- depressive symptoms occur one week prior to menstruation and disappear after you menstruate.
• Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) -- occurs during the fall-winter season and disappears during the spring-summer season. Likely to be due to lack of sunlight.

Depression may also occur with mania (known as manic-depression or bipolar disorder). In this condition, moods cycle between mania and depression.

Depression is more common in women than men and is especially common during the teen years. Men seem to seek help for feelings of depression less often than women. Therefore, women may only have more documented cases of depression.

Common Causes:

Depression often runs in families. This may due to your genes (inherited), learned behavior, or both. Even if your genes make you more likely to develop depression, a stressful or unhappy life event usually triggers the onset of a depressive episode.

Depression may be brought on by:

• Alcohol or drug abuse
• Childhood events like abuse or neglect
• Chronic stress
• Death of a friend or relative
• Disappointment at home, work, or school (in teens, this may be breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, failing a class, or parents divorcing)
• Drugs such as sedatives and high blood pressure medications
• Medical conditions such as hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid), cancer, or hepatitis
• Nutritional deficiencies (such as a lack of folate and omega-3 fatty acids)
• Overly negative thoughts about one's self and life, self blame, and ineffective social problem solving skills
• Prolonged pain or having a major illness
• Sleeping problems
• Social isolation (common in the elderly)

...


Why is all this information important?

"There is nothing to fear but fear it's self"

Fear is an emotional response to tangible and realistic dangers. Fear should be distinguished from anxiety, an emotion that often arises out of proportion to the actual threat or danger involved, and can be subjectively experienced without any specific attention to the threatening object.

Most fear is usually connected to pain (e.g., some fear heights because if they fall, they may suffer severe injury or even die upon landing). Behavioral theorists, like Watson and Ekman, have suggested that fear is one of several very basic emotions (e.g., joy and anger). Fear is a survival mechanism, and usually occurs in response to a specific negative stimulus.

Varieties

Serious fear is a response to some formidable impending peril, while trifling fear arises from confrontation with inconsequential danger.

Fear can be described by different terms in accordance with its relative degrees. Personal fear varies extremely in degree from mild caution to extreme phobia and paranoia. Fear is related to a number of emotional states including worry, anxiety, terror, fright, paranoia, horror, panic (social and personal), persecution complex and dread.

Fears may be a factor within a larger social network, wherein personal fears are synergetically compounded as mass hysteria.

• Paranoia is a term used to describe a psychosis of fear, described as a heightened perception of being persecuted, false or otherwise. This degree of fear often indicates that one has changed their normal behavior in radical ways, and may have become extremely compulsive. Sometimes, the result of extreme paranoia is a phobia.

• Distrust in the context of interpersonal fear, is sometimes explained as the inward feeling of caution, usually focused towards a person, representing an unwillingness to trust in someone else. Distrust is not a lack of faith or belief in someone, but a feeling of warning towards someone or something questionable or unknown. For example, one may "distrust" a stranger who acts in a way that is perceived as "odd." Likewise one may "distrust" the safety of a rusty old bridge across a 100 ft drop.

• Terror refers to a pronounced state of fear - which usually occurs before the state of horror - when someone becomes overwhelmed with a sense of immediate danger. Also, it can be caused by perceiving the (possibly extreme) phobia. As a consequence, terror overwhelms the person to the point of making irrational choices and non-typical behavior.

Fear can also affect the subconscious and unconscious mind, most notably through nightmares.

Fear can also be imagined, and the side effects can also be imagined.

Fear is the flip side of anger in the inbuilt human 'fight or flight' response.

Many people feel the effects of fear on a day to day basis in the workplace through the stress of a modern working environment. This fear has a direct correlation to one's working efficiency and has been crystallised into a chart through an ongoing linear study in Bristol. The fear-o-meter shows the range of emotions caused by the latent fear that a significant workload and impending deadline can create. Whilst one's ability to work effectively diminishes as the level of fear increases, productivity on the other hand increases exponentially as the impending deadline approaches. For example, a student might fail to start an essay until the level of fear reaches 5 or above, choosing to either go out or perform menial tasks until the fear has increased to the required level.

1. Satisfaction
2. Ennui
3. Despondency
4. Anxiety
5. Fear / Vexed
6. Despair / Anger
7. Apathy / Rage
8. Terror / Apoplectic

...

As adults
We deserve more out of life than what many of us have right now

Many of us seek these sexual lifestyles
Many others seek a more simpler productive vanilla lifestyle

We all seek the ability to enjoy a fruitful relationship of some sort

But in America there are more single adults than ever before in the history of this country
Meaning?

More single adults fear commitment of some sort
And lack the ability to find more stable partners

More single adults fear being able to trust each other
And lack the ability to find more faith in their mates

More single adults fear being able to play well with others
And lack the ability to respect each other as single adults

More single adults fear living their lives single and alone
And lack the ability to offer each other more self respect

More single adults fear never being understood by others
And lack the ability to control their own reality


And many of you are unable to change
Because you fear being mentally dysfunctional


And you are not alone
Just too lonely to understand why you are the way you are now

And only the people on the outside of your own head can see who you really are
And they can not help you
Until you first help yourself


But you first have to ask yourself this question

"Are you a idiot?"
"uneducated or ignorant person."

"Idiot" was originally created to refer to "layman, person lacking professional skill", "person so mentally deficient as to be incapable of ordinary reasoning"

"Idiots" were seen as having bad judgment in public and political matters. Over time, the term "idiot" shifted away from its original connotation of selfishness and came to refer to individuals with overall bad judgment–individuals who are "stupid"

"Are you ignorant?"

Ignorance is the condition of being uninformed or uneducated, lacking knowledge or information.

willful ignorance

1. (idiomatic), also called vincible ignorance is a bad faith decision to avoid becoming informed about something so as to avoid having to make undesirable decisions that such information might prompt.

...

Let's keep it real with each other

We can't keep it real with each other because we can not be more real about who and how we really are to ourselves

And if you fool yourself into believing that you are who and how you are?
Whoever you wish to relate too can only relate to who and whatever they learn you to really be like to them as well as yourself
From the outside of your own mental reality

And as Americans
We have had a hard time growing into whoever we are today

And we have come a long way in the history of this country
And it has not been as simple as many of you would wish to think

Even my favorite Domme said it best:

SECRETARY RICE: Good morning. I'm pleased today to join Under Secretary of State for Democracy and Global Affairs Paula Dobriansky and Assistant Secretary of State for Democracy, Human Rights, and Labor Barry Lowenkron as we announce the publication of the Country Reports on Human Rights Practices for 2006.

These congressionally mandated annual reports speak to America's continued support for those fundamental freedoms embodied in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Our country was born in the belief that all people, regardless of race, creed, or culture are free by nature and equal in dignity; that when given a truly unfettered choice, human beings will choose liberty over oppression, the natural right to life over the constant fear of death, the right to own property over random search and seizure, and that they will choose to be ruled by the consent of the governed, not by the coercion of the state.

These basic rights should be the source of justice in every society and the basis for peace among states. Too often in the past year, we received painful reminders that human rights, though self-evident, are not self-enforcing and that mankind's desire to live in freedom, though universally deserved, is still not universally respected. Liberty and human rights require state institutions that function transparently and accountably, a vibrant civil society, an independent judiciary and legislature, a free media, and security forces that can uphold the rule of law and protect the population from violence and extremism.

With the release of this year's reports we are recommitting ourselves to help new democracies deliver on their people's aspirations for a better life. We are recommitting ourselves to stand with those courageous men and women who struggle for their freedom and their rights. And we are recommitting ourselves to call every government to account that still treats the basic rights of its citizens as options rather than, in President Bush's words, the non-negotiable demands of human dignity.

We do not issue these reports because we think ourselves perfect, but rather because we know ourselves to be deeply imperfect, like all human beings and the endeavors that they make. Our democratic system of governance is accountable, but it is not infallible. We are nonetheless guided by enduring ideals: the inalienable rights of humankind and the principles of democracy toward which all people and all governments must continue striving. And that includes us here in America.

We hope that these reports will be a source of information for governments and societies everywhere and a source of inspiration for all who are still working for peaceful democratic change around the globe.

We are all just imperfect human beings

We must first define and understand our imperfections
All of them

Keep it more real with ourselves first
Truthful

And the truth is:

"We are worth nothing to anyone else until we are worth more to our own selves."

"The truth will set us free"

"We have to be more truthful as to who we are and are not as of yet"

If fear is the only thing that keeps us from being better people?

Then maybe we first have to stop fearing being more blessed than we give ourselves credit for being able to be right now

" The Bible says in 2 Timothy 1:7, “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” "

Learn your imperfections
And then respect them
Change what you can
And do not excuse what you can/will not out of fear

Fear is dangerous to our spirit
Our soul


Never fear being more imperfect than you think you know you are right now

If you want more out of your blessed life




Without self-knowledge, we cannot go beyond the mind.
—J. Krishnamurti

I like my friends like good tissue. Soft to the touch, but strong enough to deal with some real shit

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheKinkYHoTBoX/




respect

You have to know how to relate before a relationship

Respecting the Horse before the cart?

As a child around 9 or 10
My Father took me to a drum circle with my drum
And I watched as the Drum Master lead the circle
And I wanted to learn from that Master how to better play my drum
But as the end of the day of playing drums came
The Drum Leader was ready to go home
Tired

And I never got a chance to ask him
But I asked others as I grew up playing My drum
And they told me
If you want to be a drummer?
Buy a drum and play it
The more you play, the more you become a drummer

And I did

And 35 years later
I moved back to DC
And I went back to that same park
And saw that same Drum Master
And I brought my drum
And I sat in with the other drummers
And played My drum with them

And I would show up every Sunday early just so I could catch him and ask him my request of him
And I would end up being one of the first drummers there
And while we waited others would try to play their drums
And I would try to at least show them how to stay on beat
And how to listen to others
And learn how to play well with them

And one day I watched him arrive at the park early enough to watch me play with these others who were just as eager as I was to learn from that Master

And he looked at me and smiled in a way that scared me to ask him anything while I was playing in that circle

And after a few years I finally got a chance to ask the Drum Master if he would teach me how to better play My drum on the last day of drum circle season

And he said to me
"I will teach you when we come back for the first day of the new season of the drum circle"
And he smiled at me with that same smile again!

And when winter broke and we had our first good weather day on Sunday enough for us all to start playing at the park again
I eagerly took my drum to the park to play

And I got a phone call from one of the other drummers on my way there

And he said to me
"Hey Ez, if your on your way to the park?"
"You are in charge while we play the funeral of our Drum Master!"

And I was in shock

Because that was who I was running to the park to learn from

And now I was on My way to that park with My drum
Being told that I had to lead the drum circle until the others showed up from the funeral of Our Drum Master of over 40 years

And I arrived at the park normally early
And the other newer drummers and children were there waiting
And I showed up and we played

And I have been that image of a Master Drummer every Sunday
And I am learning how to play MY DRUM better

Without My Master

"Or have I"

*wink*

I digress...


So many people in these so called ADULT lifestyle communities tend to think that you can put
"the Horse before the Cart"
By try'n to perfect a position or title without first understanding that these lifestyles require that you first understand and respect your own personal RELATIONSHIP Skills first

No matter how Dominant or submissive you want to be
If you suck at forming and keeping a productive relationship in your life

Then YOU are the weakest link!

"I was told a while back that if I was to learn more about being a better Dominant?
I should find a mentor that is in a productive lifestyle relationship
And learn from them and their relationship
And the same went for friends of mine who wanted to be sub missive"

I have since learned how rare that truly is to find

And now I question anyone who teaches anyone something that they are not doing themselves in real time productively

Thus
I have learned more about relationships and personality dysfunctions
And how they are more important than much of the training many claim they need or have as a Dominant or sub missive

So let's first talk about relationships
And how they differ in these adult lifestyles

" Interpersonal relationships"

In the contexts of sociology and of popular culture, the concept of interpersonal relationships involves social associations, connections, or affiliations between two or more people. Such persons may interact overtly, covertly, face-to-face; or may remain effectively unknown to each other (as in a virtual community whose members maintain anonymity and do not socialize outside of a chat-room).
"Meaning?"

Too many people talk the talk
But they walk around acting like we should trust them with our own lives and lifestyles just because they claim to be something you wish to become

"But actions and reality speaks louder than words"

And most people are best at online relationships than they are at living the reality of a productive relationship in real time
Or they are just fantasizing about being something they have not become as of yet
If ever

Analysts of interpersonal relationships (namely, any functioning humans) may view a relationship as focused (such as the sales-oriented relationship between a sales assistant and a customer) or as unfocused (as between passengers on a bus). People traveling to a football-match share a relationship — whether they support the same team or opposing teams. The significance of the relationship may not become apparent until they cheer or boo. In each case culture will tend to define the forms of both accepted and unacceptable interactions.

Interpersonal relationships vary in their degree of self-disclosure, feedback, power and respect — to name but a few aspects. They vary in the extent to which culture and language define or construct them. They vary in the degree to which people can question, challenge or change relationships of relevance to themselves; and that degree of changeability itself can demonstrate power-differentials in a variety of interpersonal relationships and settings.

Relationships vary in the degree to which both intimacy and sharing occur — implying the discovery or establishment of common ground over time. They may or may not center around things shared in common.

So what are you missing in this definition?

Interpersonal relationships as a category may have escaped public attention until the late 20th century:

The term "relationship", as applied to personal life, came into general use only twenty or thirty years ago, as did the idea that there is a need for "intimacy" or "commitment" in personal life."

If valid, this view raises questions as to what has changed — and how — to bring about the result where interpersonal relationships receive so much attention — both in academia and in popular lore.

Teens and parents go through a stage where relationships are lost or broken up by the changes kids go through as they mature into adults.

Over 90% of all failed relationships result from a lack of honest communication and awareness

So how can anyone teach the masses about something they have not yet mastered themselves?

Intimate relationships?

An intimate relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship. It is a relationship in which the participants know or trust one another very well or are confidants of one another, or a relationship in which there is physical or emotional intimacy.

Physical intimacy is characterized by romantic or passionate love and attachment, or sexual activity.

Love is an important factor in physical and emotional intimate relationships. Though the term is notoriously difficult to define, any thoughtful inquiry into the subject will show it to be qualitatively, not only quantitatively, different than liking, and the difference is not merely in the presence or absence of sexual attraction. According to one analysis, love in relationships is divided into two types: passionate and companionate. Passionate love is intense longing, and is often accompanied by physiological arousal (shortness of breath, rapid heart rate). Companionate love is affection and a feeling of intimacy and is not necessarily accompanied by physiological arousal.

People that are in an intimate relationship with one another are often called a couple, especially if the members of that couple have ascribed some degree of permanency to their relationship. Such couples often provide the emotional security that is necessary for them to accomplish other tasks, particularly forms of labor/work. A popular American phrase states: "Couples that work together, lurk together."

Meaning?

If you lack the skills to become at least a productive couple?
Then nothing more will prosper
(ie: Poly, Swingers, or lifestyle couples)

A free union is a union between two persons that lacks any publicly recognized bond (either civil or religious).

The phrase "free union" is misleading, and the Catechism of the Catholic Church raises the question of what "union" can mean in the phrase "free union". The expression "free union" includes situations such as concubinage, rejection of marriage as such, or inability to make long-term commitments. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, being in a "free union" is a grave offense against the dignity of marriage.

So, for many people who claim they seek a lifestyle relationship
They don't have to get married to have one
They don't have to be that committed to each other
But they do have to have a common bond of respect and faith in what they seek together
And in this case it is these adult sexual lifestyles

*blank stare*

And no matter how much you think you can learn about these lifestyles
No matter how much training you get

If you can not relate enough with whom you claim you seek enough to provide a better foundation of a relationship together?

Your just acting like you are what you are not ready to become to whomever may seek your services


And I am not judging any of you
But I do know that few of you are in any kind of fruitful relationships with anyone
Not even yourselves
*snicker*

So much of what many are reading from others who claim they are mentoring as to how to become a better "whatever"

Are just as blind being led by others who are blind as to how to first form a productive union with anyone

And I wonder how can someone with deep seated issues with the other sex, can actually claim they are ready to offer themselves up to someone who is of the other sex?

If you don't trust Men or Women in general?
How can you act as if you are ready to trust them enough to form a relationship worth anything more than a play session and a booty call?

"Aint that like putting the horse before the cart?"

(real talk here)

So while some may see this post as a insult or bullshit?
At least a few of us do know how to at least keep a relationship with someone for a better amount of time than what others have had and lost, only to now feel the need to teach others how to do the same

*blank stare*

So let me offer you a article that I read by someone that had a better outlook than what I have read from a few others who claim they are about teaching a better view of what this lifestyle is really about

http://www.humbledfemales.com/femininemystique.html


Shared Wisdom On Femininity
& Submission

By Master Obsidian's slave, namaste

Read more of namaste's writings here:
http://his-namaste.livejournal.com

I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.

— Anais Nin

Modern women have fought for and won what women prior to the 1950's never had before. The female presence is seen in the boardroom, in the military, in institutions of higher learning. We get equal pay, equal political rights and control over reproduction...so why are so many of us more stressed and less fulfilled than ever before?

I submit to you dear readers, that perhaps in the process of fighting for what we did not have, we have abandoned and lost what we had. We have lost the feminine mystique. In my desire to embrace the feminine mystique I sought to recall a knowledge, a secret if you will, that seemed to be lost. When I have looked at relationships that last and are truly happy, when I have met women who have that "inner glow" and seem to revel in being women, when I read The Christian Bible, The Jewish TaNaKh, the Muslim Quran, the Tao or The Kama Sutra, I have come away with certain truths that resonate for me, certain things that, though not popular, seemed to work. It is in my embracing of these truths and actually living them I have found that centeredness which seems so elusive to modern women. Today I'd like to share some truths that have been very beneficial to me and I believe had made me MORE of a woman and more in tune with my femininity.

Women do not need to compete with Men, to Be as Men are.

It is within the scope of our differences that we are made one. It is through the Union of our two equal but opposite energies that Wholeness is created. A unit composed of only one energy type will eventually destroy itself. However in the wholeness that comes from having BOTH types of energy you can find your sense of self expressed and understood most poignantly. I am not a man. I've no desire to be a man, to look like or conduct myself as a man. Furthermore, I have no need to compete with any man...more or less with my Master. To compete suggests wanting to occupy the Space He occupies, if I'm in the Space that is His, where will He be? And who will be in the space I have abandoned?

His strength requires my gentleness and softness.

Often as women we desire for Men to be strong, however we might want to consider that the strength of a Man will require the gentle softness of a woman. I have noticed I feel most loved and cherished by Master when I am soft and gentle. This is not to say it is always easy. At times my initial inclination was to respond to hurt or fear by becoming cold and distant. Master would not allow me to do this. He worked with me by not allowing my defenses. I found myself responding to Him in softness, and I found Him handling me differently. His strength REQUIRES me to be soft. I can not respond differently and expect a good outcome. If I respond to His strength with hardness like stones, we cut against each other and eventually one of us will break. Because I am the weaker, it will be me.

His Leadership requires my yielding.

I have always wanted a Man who would lead. Most women I know say they want this as well. However, the truth is often that we want a man who will lead the way we would lead. In reality, if I want Him to lead I need to be willing to follow, to yield. It seems an interesting phenomenon that women want a Leader and yet will become angry if a man does not do their bidding, and then if He DOES, most women will hold the man in contempt for doing so.

I read a quote some years ago by Marlene Dietrich which speaks to this: "To be completely woman you need a Master, and in him a compass for your life. You need a man you can look up to and respect. If you dethrone him it's no wonder that you are discontented, and discontented women are not loved for long."

When I yield to Master's leading by being encouraging and supportive I am laying the foundation for us to have a healthy and long lasting relationship. I am opening myself and providing fertile ground for intimacy and bonding, rather than being a chore and sufferance. Yeilding brings a state of being that provides for my contentment as well. A contented woman is more attractive and lovely to her Master, and has a greater sense of self.

His desire and passion requires my reckless abandon.

This is a difficult one. Most women are raised and taught that to be a lady and a woman of worth means displaying very little sexual desire. When we enter into a relationship we then maintain this view and snuff out our Master's desire. This applies to women out of the scene and often to women who embrace submission as well. Giving ourselves over to the storms of passion our Master's ignite within us, without concern for propriety or demeanor can be a scary prospect. However, if I want Master to display and unleash passion on me, I must overcome these old tapes and give myself over to the fires He fuels. Rather than perfectly coifed and demure, when I am in His bed He desires to see my hair mussed by passion, lips bruised from kissing, my cheeks streaked with tears from crying. He'd rather hear my voice husky and broken rather than cool and controlled. Restraint in the bedroom is not a virtue.

His Dominance requires my submission.

If I would have Him be Dominant I must submit. This is the total crux of the matter in living a life of submission. To prefer His will over my own. To relinquish my way for His. This is the price of fulfillment. That I would embrace His masculinity, His strength His power and meet it with my submission, my weakness and vulnerability. That I would feel my femaleness to my core without the brittle mantle of control so many of my sisters seem to need to carry. We are told that fulfillment is found in control. What if it isn't? What if the road to peace and joy in our relationships is not pulling, but yielding? No leading but following? Not standing but submitting?

Now I am not here to be anyone's role model

You can live as you see fit
But I could care less about anyone one of you who claim you are a part of a lifestyle that I too respect a bit more than I am respected by anyone I am not fucking or fucking with

So take this anyway you want

*wicked grin*

But I personally think that too many of you online lifestyle people debate more with each other than you show anyone why they should be a part of whatever YOU call a community in these lifestyles for so called POCs

And it shows

lol






Without self-knowledge, we cannot go beyond the mind.
—J. Krishnamurti

I like my friends like good tissue. Soft to the touch, but strong enough to deal with some real shit!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheKinkYHoTBoX/

...


respect

Your not like others?

Maybe your not deep enough to be this blessed?

As I sit in the kafe on my Burfday
I reflect on
respect

All this time
People been buggin
And all the time

They just been a bit shallow
No offense

But yall just aint deep enough
Yet


The fire of devotion purifies the heart of the devotee and leads to
spiritual freedom.

Bowl of Saki,
by Hazrat Inayat Khan

Commentary by Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan:

Overlooking the faults of others with politeness, tolerance,
forgiveness, and resignation is regarded as a moral virtue in the
East. Man's heart is visualized as the shrine of God, and even a
small injury in thought, word, and deed against it is considered as a
great sin against God, the Indwelling One. Gratitude is shown by the
loyalty of the Orient and by being true to the salt; the hospitality
of a day is remembered throughout all the years of life, while the
benefactor never forgets humility even in the midst of his good
deeds. There is an Eastern saying, 'Forget thy virtues and remember
thy sins.'

'Chained with gold chains about the feet of God.' - Tennyson

Thus the heart, developed by religion and morality, becomes first
capable of choosing and then of retaining the object of devotion
without wavering for a moment. Yet in the absence of these qualities
it remains incapable of either choice or retention.

There have been innumerable devotees in the East, Bhakta or Ashiq,
whose devotional powers are absolutely indescribable and ineffable.
To the ignorant the story of their lives may appear exaggerated, but
the joy of self-negation is greater than that of either spiritual or
material joy.

Devotion sweetens the personality, and is the light on the path of
the disciple. Those who study mysticism and philosophy while omitting
self-sacrifice and resignation grow egoistic and self-centered. Such
persons are apt to call themselves either God or a part of God, and
thus make an excuse for committing any sins they like. Regardless of
sin or virtue they misuse and malign others, being utterly fearless
of the hereafter. Yet they forget that 'strait is the gate, and
narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life', as the Bible says.

The fire of devotion purifies the heart of the devotee and leads to
spiritual freedom. Mysticism without devotion is like uncooked food
and can never be assimilated. 'I am the heart of my devotees,' says
Krishna in the Bhagavad-Gita. And Hafiz says, 'O joyous day when I
depart from this abode of desolation, seeking the repose of my soul
and setting out in search of my Beloved.'


As I sit in the Kafe while the rain falls softly
I enjoy my coffee
And I reflect

About the reality of respect

And I respect reality over truth
Any day
As I watch so many of you try to find a better way
As many of you pass my way
As some try to say

How dare I speak often of that word
Yeah
I have heard the whispers of ignorance
From some who had a chance
To advance
In my reality

But they still don't know me
No more than they owe me

And I do not fault thee
But you just aint deep enough to be around me
Not in the city we call Hell
And many of you know it as DC

You aint me

And I have to respect the simpleness you see
Because my life is a fantasy
To the others who try to be a part of me
And all the while they claim that my style
Is too wild for that child
Yeah

I agree

They aint ready to stay steady on the course
Of respecting a spiritual force
With no remorse

Because there is nothing wrong with none of you
Your just not as deep as you seek too
To deep to be true


Because you at best
Will be like the rest
Of the mess that revolves around you

And the few who say they know me
Still do not know how deep my name is in reality

As the Universe smiles on me

And all that flows
And grows
Deeper

Every day

The Pimpstyle way

And what I have learned to respect today
On my Earthday
Is how to say

I guess I have not been stressed
For being more blessed
To not lead my life with the weak
Because I do not seek
Because my life is too damn deep

There is no game for you to peep

I don't have to creep

Because I can't sneak up on shit that is too deep

But people do

So I just want to thank GOD that I am too deep
For you
2


I am Loki

*wicked grin*





Without self-knowledge, we cannot go beyond the mind.
—J. Krishnamurti




I like my friends like good tissue. Soft to the touch, but strong enough to deal with some real shit

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheKinkYHoTBoX/



respect

Being anal about Scat or skat...lol

Respecting skat? Awl funk that!

Anyone who says they are not into skat?

Don't no crap about that

In fact
They can be quite anal about it

They aint into shit

I mean not even the smell of it

"Fuck that shit!"

*wicked grin*


http://www.askmen.com/love/vanessa/28_love_secrets.html

What Women Love & Hate About Anal

.. --> G: Author Email -->

By Jasmine Leigh
Relationship Correspondent - Every Saturday

Anal sex is just one of those things:

she either loves it, or she hates it.

There is very little in between. Most women have tried it at some point, and a fair few of them will never dare again despite their hankering to be one of the "lucky ones" who love anal sex.

The reason for this avoidance is clear:

"pain."

If there was no pain, there was probably pleasure.

Hence, love or hate.

It is true, however, that while you're trying to "get it right" there are likely to be some painful moments, practice makes perfect and it's the ability to maneuver oneself and try different styles that allows anal sex to be pleasurable.

We've decided to let you in on what women love and hate about anal sex so you can enter the situation sufficiently informed and ready to rock her world.

the allure of anal sex

For men and women, anal sex is a different, tighter sensation, it's a little bit naughty and it provides some variety to normal sex. Anal sex has a tang of taboo attached to it, though this is falling away: The taboo status of anal sex gives it better credence among the adventuresome and timid alike, and this adds to its attraction. Once tried, however, anal sex can quickly lose its appeal for women (and some men). Here we will discuss some of the reasons why women love and hate anal sex.

why does she love anal sex?

Let's start with the positives:

Because anal sex feels good

Women love anal sex because it can feel absolutely incredible. It's different in sensation and it doesn't feel like anything else she may have felt before -- it's deep inside, it's not her clitoris and is not in her vagina, but feels strangely like both in a sort of mixed-up combination in another part of her body. The rectum, once it's ready, literally swallows the penis up and can't get enough. The back passage transforms itself into a sexual playground. If the clitoris and/or vagina are stimulated while you are inside of her, it can take her to another sexual realm. Anal orgasms are possible.

Because anal sex is naughty

People love to be a little bit naughty sometimes, and anal sex is one of those things you can do completely privately, and nobody will ever know you were naughty except you and your partner -- which is part of the fun. It is also often a "first time for everything" type of activity which can also be nice -- doing something you've never done before, ever.

why does she hate anal sex?

Now for what goes wrong:

Because anal sex hurts

Anal sex is not easy to master when you haven't done it before. For a man it may seem straight forward -- in, out -- but it isn't this simple. Women hate anal sex primarily because it hurts. It can cause cold sweats, shivers, extreme agony, and a massive chemical release into the blood stream that causes pain. This is highly unpleasant, but may be endured because A) She wants to like it; and B) She wants you to like it.

If you're not very careful, if you don't warm her up properly, if you don't go slowly enough, you will probably hurt her. This really minimizes your chances for trying anal sex again. Do your best every time and you have at least a fighting chance at having another go.

Because she's worried about a mess

Anal sex is obviously a hot spot for mess. The idea that you could penetrate her butt and come out in a sticky situation is hugely embarrassing for her before it's even happened, and for this reason she may avoid anal sex altogether. Women spend so much time making themselves look and smell beautiful that to have something ruin her hard work can be mildly devastating. Worrying about mess can be alleviated by using an anal douche before engaging in any anal play. Try taking a shower together too, and make sure her bowels are emptied at least an hour before starting.

There are a few more things women love & hate about anal sex..

important facts about anal sex

Lubricant is essential

The anal canal does not produce its own lubricant, so it is imperative that you use a good quality lubricant in all your anal adventures. It is advisable to use a silicon-based lubricant because they tend to last longer and don't dry up very quickly like some water-based lubricants do. Don't use sticky petroleum-based products like Vaseline, as they clog up the walls of the rectum and are much too sticky.

Tease her

It is very important that she is very turned .. you even go near her butt. When she's turned on, her body is much more open to you than if you she is only mildly turned on. She needs to be aching for you to touch her there. Then, when you start to touch her closer to her anus, she will respond with moans and groans instead of a tense grimace. Rub her body all over with oils, relax her, love her, adore her, and caress her. Get her to the point where she is begging you for it, and do this without putting a single thing in her -- tease, tease, tease. Anticipation is one of the greatest sexual tools we have -- use it to your advantage.

Condoms and hygiene

Disease can be passed through unprotected sex -- this includes anal sex. The wall of the rectum is very thin and permeable. However, using condoms can be better for both partners, for other reasons. Women may not like to have a bottom full of semen, which quite frankly is a fair call. After the disruptions of anal sex, the semen mixes with the contents of the rectum and it can get a little "upset" in there. Using a condom avoids this trouble.

Condoms may also protect the penis from any stray fecal matter, though this is generally not a problem, and if it does occur can be washed off easily with no harm done. Men may like to wear a condom so they last a bit longer -- the condom desensitizes the penis somewhat, and allows for longer lovemaking.

what not to do

Do not ever put your penis into a woman's body without her express permission. Do not treat her body like a scoring device. She is not an object for you to ejaculate in or on, and if she is kind enough to share her beautiful butt with you, treat it with respect and be happy you were allowed close enough to breathe her in at all. Don't ejaculate inside of her if requested not to. Don't slam, jackhammer or be forceful either.

what to always do

Always use lube. Always wear a condom if requested to without acting like a baby. Do as you are asked at all times -- anal sex is a delicate situation and she needs to be able to trust you.

Gender presumptions and anal sex

When a heterosexual couple thinks of anal sex, it is generally man-in-woman anal sex. To get a good understanding of what it's like -- and how to improve your performance -- it is necessary and helpful for you to open your mind to the possibility that anal sex is not something that only you do to your female lover, but something that you could do to each other.

Scared yet? Don't be. If it's good for the goose, it's good for the gander. Anal sex takes a lot of practice to perfect, and experimenting with one another is a fantastic way to deepen your connection and enhance your sex life and relationship. It does not have to involve sex toys. You can use fingers, tongues, oils, lubes, and any number of other things. Experiment, and let your own body be loved. It will pay off.

backdoor shenanigans

Anal sex is many things to many people. Do it right, and you'll get to do it again. Do it wrong, and you may be doomed forever. Well, probably not forever but until she forgets how bad it was the first time around.

There are hundreds of anal sex guides online -- explicit instructions on how to do it right. If you read at least a dozen of them, you'll probably have a good idea about how to start off. The best piece of advice we can give you is to make sure she is hot for it before you start.

Then you really can't lose. .. --> IMPORTANT BEGIN: BOTTOM BOX -->

But anal sex is not what this post is about

Or is it?

Butt
Getting the shit fuck out of your ass
Is kinda sexy until the clean up

Or is it?

So when you consider your hard limits
And you want to state what your kink is

Take a moment
And wonder

If your not into water sports
Or golden showers
Butt

You love to make it rain?
*sly grin*

Then
While having anal sex
You should expect
A speck
Of skat
To cum from the back

And the fact
Is that I am a Ass Man
too

I am not a amature

I am the Ass Man

Let it be known

That I have shown

How easy your mind was blown

Just for not believe'n me

As you screamed

"...Is my ass decieve'n me!"

"Because you are sooooo deep in me!"

You are leave'n me no option but to want to cry

And I don't know why

But

"Your dick in my ass is so beautifull!"

Oh my

GOD!

How can you be so skillful?

To make my little hole take all of you so willful

And

Bring such a feeling

As you are dealing my ass such a beat down

And

I love it!

"So shove it harder and deeper baby"

Because you have made me the happiest woman on the planet

Got me

Nasty

Like Janet!

Damnit!

How did you do what you have done to me?

How can this shit be so fun to me?

And the degree of pleasure

I will treasure

For longer than you will ever know

Because my lust for this shit your doing to me

has opened a new door

And

Now I will lust for more

Because

You

Have Dicked open a new door

And I am afriad that I want to be your whore

Your slut!

And you have put your name

on my butt!

I mean not just my whole ass

but

My ass hole

And now I have 3 places to worship you in

My new backdoor friend

Where can I find the words to begin

To thank you

For doin my ass in

Because you are no amature

Now I know

And good lawd!

I can feel you beautiful dick grow

In my ass

And I will stand and tell the whole class

"Let the whole world know"

How I have never felt this way before

And you made that shit happen with ease

You

Didn't even tease me

You just did it

Just to please me

If there was a

Golden Ass Award

You can have it!

Because you are so smooth with it

And you made my ass fit it

Like that dick was made for that hole too

And you are bold boo

To just be hide'n what you know how to do

And that's why I'm

Love'n you

In my ass

damn nigga

'SMH'

You got my pussy mad at my ass

because

I'm a virgin no more

in my last hole

thanx to you boo

And I want to thank you

For all the freaky things you do

to me

You have set my ass free

And I want to thank you

For fuckin me

In the ass!

The Ass Man Cummith

and

He is no amature!

This I know now.

Fa show!

damn...

So what do you really know about kink?

What do you really know about what you know?


Sex is as nasty as your ass can take it

But what is more important

Is knowing how kinky you are willing to respect
How kinky kink can get

And what you have not learned yet




Soft and Wet - Prince



respect

Park Time! Cum have some fun in the sun with us...

My kind of People Of Color



The people of color that I respect

Know no color
Know no hate
Know how to co operate

Know no one language
Know no gossip
Know how to play well with others

Know my face
Know my smell
Know how to respect each other in Hell

Know the rhythm
Know the dance
Know the true meaning of people of color

The People Of Color I Respect

Respect my color
Respect each other
Respect the Mother of Color

You can hear that respect in every beat
Not just the few you seek

Just because you are a people of any color
Does not mean you deserve respect for your color
But it does mean that every person of every color deserves more respect than the others have gave them in return

And this is the season of change

And if you are not a part of it?
You will be a part of it

I am
People Of Color

I need not ask you who you are
I know

Do you?


5/4/08 Malcolm X park Dum Circle NW DC (Meridian Hills Park)






respect

A friends poetry..."Spank"

Spanking that ass like a big drum
What fun that can be
Rhythmically
"Getting her done"

As a percussionist and a provider
I found this poem from a old friend of mines
HOT!

So I wanted to stop

And post it here
So you may find him there
If you care


Spank
by Vince Vanguard Vainglorious



Whenever I hold the double bongos, I can’t resist playing



I love to hear that sound



I can’t wait to get started and sometimes must be told to stop



It’s such a beautiful instrument, round and firm with its beautiful skin stretched ever so tight



My hand vigorously strikes one side repeatedly until its time to strike the other



Sometimes I am inspired to improvise and play both sides at one time



It’s more about the technique than the actual melody



Remember the drummer’s main duty is to keep the beat



The drummer’s inspiration must always be the rhythm



To keep the drum in good working order, it is best not to bang it too hard



It is suggested that you oil the drum well to improve its condition



Even a fine well made tight drum can only take so much banging



There’s an art to beating the drums well



You must strike the skin firmly but not too hard



On occasion though your accompanist may request you beat the drum harder



Such a request is rare, so when offered the chance you must oblige



Like all fine instruments good drums are all delicate and each quite different



The smaller brown ones can produce an excellent honey sweet tone



Their smooth shiny skin is a pleasure for the eyes and a treat for the ears



Personally I prefer the larger deep dark tight firm round ones with an earthy tone



They inspire a primal emotion in me that reminds me of real African Drums



If you select one of a lighter hue, you may need to oil it well so as not to bruise the skin



The light ones come in many sizes like the others, but may require a higher level of maintenance



Playing the drums is a special talent and requires the right amount of skill and restraint



Not everyone will be pleased with the results or able to appreciate your talent



Learning to play can be a noisy and painful undertaking,



so it is suggested that you request permission before starting.



If you learn your craft and do the job well though,



a good time will be had by all and you will be rewarded with tears of joy





Spank by Vince Vanguard Vainglorious
© Copyright 2006. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.






We go way back
I sold him a couch back in the day
A loud green sleeper
And
He just got rid of it damn near 15 years later
*blank stare*

I would have bought it back
*wicked grin*


But what also humbles me as I write this post
Is how many other good friends I have this close
To me

After over 10 years
11 tours
12 states of sanity
And
13 colonies

One baby's mother
One Baby Gangsta
One Grand Baby Gangsta
T-Money
And a cool baby daddy

And I'm blessed to have had them all
Than many of them have had me
But we all are glad we
Are still around
Holding it down

And what I want to say the most?
Is that I know a few people who are reading this post
Personally

And they know a better part of me
Than most of you know about me
Because
We are all still friends
And family




After all these years
We never stop amazing each other





My brother from another mother
My motherfucker
Shake Speare Chucker
My motherfucker




I owe him my

respect






respect