We all have our own styles and characteristics
We have our own lust and kinks that are just as individual as each one of us on this planet
We have NATURAL talents and traits that make us who we are and how we are or wish to be
And these lifestyles have plenty of room for everyone
But I think a great deal of us suffer from the ability to explain exactly who and how we are
And what we seek or wish for more in our lives and lifestyles
And I have done a few post on the types of titles available in the foundation of what this lifestyle has to offer each and every one of us
So instead of just posting the general definition of types of Doms and subs and such
I want to see if I can get a few lurkers and regulars to think deeper as to whom they are as a individual in these lifestyles
And what you have to offer others who are seeking others too
Because this subject covers the vast difference in relationships that many of us seek or seek to improve
Maybe that is why so many are shun or accused of NOT being something they feel is so general
Maybe we are not answering these very important questions from the very introduction to the moments you find you have changed and want more or less or even something different
So lets first talk about Dominants
As a dominant
You have certain talents and traits that make you who you are
Like just because your a Daddy Dom Type
Does not mean that you can not be a real good provider
Or trainer
Or even counselor and motivator
But what else makes you feel you can be a good provider?
Because you can be a good Daddy Dom but suck at dealing with a bratty ass sub who pushes your buttons for attention
You can be a Sadist
But how?
Are you in control of your sadistic nature?
How can your sadistic nature benefit your Dominance in a SSC manner?
And what if you are not a Sadist?
How can being more emotionally humble by nature benefit your Dominance?
Do you have a temper?
How bad is it?
Do you have a boiling point?
Can you instruct others as to how not to go that far with you?
Are you a good listener?
How attentive are you?
How well can you deal with conflict?
Do you know your own dysfunctional traits?
WE ALL HAVE THEM
It's natural!
Are you gifted?
How?
How can that assist in your training of others?
Are you able to explain them and how they may benefit others?
What drives you to want to be a Dominant?
What image of accomplishment drives you seek devotion to you?
Why do you want to devote your life's journey to being a provider to others?
Are you monogamous?
Can you handle being monogamous with JUST one?
What about Polygamous?
Are you mentally strong enough to deal with others emotions?
What if you have a bottom, sub/slave that is Bi sexual?
Can you deal with sharing your mate sexually with others?
What kind of others?
Can you deal with being honest, open and fair sexually?
And what about sex?
Do you have a high or low sex drive?
Is it driven by your attraction to your mate?
Are you attracted to your mate sexually?
What turns you on?
For how long generally?
How comfortable are you with your sexuality?
Nudity?
Public sexual expression?
Are you at peace with your kink and sexuality?
Are you addicted to sex or sexual activity?
What kind of sex do you like the best?
What if your mate does not like your kink like you do?
What turns you off quickly?
Are you driven to your kink sexually?
How much sex do you need in reality?
What do you like more than sexual aggression?
How well are you at being not only able to role play, but be able to invent productive and fun scenes to play?
How much do you know about the mental and hormonal effects of sexual contact with others?
How well are you prepared to deal with others fears and history of abuse?
Do you play well together sexually?
What if they want more than you can physically handle?
What if your property shuts down sexually?
Can you handle sexual conflict?
What if they seek non sexual contact and you want it?
How do you deal with jealousy?
And what about mental conditioning and support?
How much do you know about it?
How well do you know your partner?
What do they suffer from?
What can cause a imbalance in their mind set?
Can you tell?
How well are you at seeking help professionally if needed?
What do you know about medications that effect a persons mentality?
What do you know about hormones?
Chakras
Energy
Auras
What in just these few questions can you answer as to how your Natural talents and abilities drive you to provide for someone else in need of your services?
What makes you think you can be a good Dominant?
What makes you think that you can be a better provider to whom seeks your company or you theirs?
When is enough enough?
How true are you to your words when you find them to not be a good match together?
Do you seek help?
Or send them packing?
No matter who you think you are when you decide that you are a Dominant
Being one means nothing if you have no one to provide for
Or does it?
And most of all
YOU ARE NOT A DOMINANT
YOU ARE A DOMINANT HUMAN BEING
Do you know the difference?
Can you express that to others openly?
Do you respect the difference between being domineering and being a SSC Dominant?
Are you able to better communicate exactly what you are and are not?
Do you have the ability to cut your losses if there is more of a sexual attraction than a D/s, M/s, Top/bottom, and even vanilla relationship?
Even if that means turning down someone who wants more than what you know you can provide?
ALL OF THESE TYPE QUESTIONS
Are the difference between a REAL Dominant in their own mind
And a predator for attention or attentions you see so many others getting because they consider themselves a Dominant in these lifestyles
It's ok to want to fuck the dog snot out of somebody
Shit
Anybody!
But
What about pride?
What about character?
What about your self respect?
Why would anyone want to publicly claim to be someone
Just so they can get laid?
DOMINANTS
Have to be a respectable title to the Dominant
More than anyone else
First!
That any true Dominant has to defend
Or understand that you loose nothing
For being just a dominant person by nature
Even freaky in a little way
But a lier is not impressive
Especially just for some popularity and kinky sex
But we have to respect that others do not have the same standards or concern for this lifestyle as other who claim it openly or not
Now...
Sub-missives
*snicker*
I'm really feeling the need to write a post
JUST FOR YOU FOLKS
Because the FIRST thing that needs to be corrected in the manner many sub missives in this realm use the WORD it's self
And how they include themselves as one
Or not
And I want to include switches in this post too
And being that you both claim at least submission as a trait and title
sub missive
IS NOT A NAME
Don't go acting like you should even name your kids
"Submissive"
*blank stare*
But that is kinda the way some of you types act that word describe who you are or kinda are
YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING TOO
You may have submissive traits or even be submissive in nature
But just thinking that being called one
And fellowshipping with others who do the same
Is not a lifestyle or a community
READ ALL OF THAT AGAIN OUT LOUD IN YOUR OWN HEADS
Because after you have found that your are attracted to being submissive to anyone or someone worth seeking?
Your work is not done!
So playing with your friends do not make you smarter
You have to study
And the first thing you have to learn is how to express openly
WHAT TYPE OF PERSON YOU ARE
And how does your desire to submit fit into your personality
WHAT MAKES YOU
y/you
If you are not able to communicate from the start
And anywhere after
That you are who and how you are?
Then you can set up yourself and anyone else for failure
Just because they know less about you
Than you know about yourself
It is your duty to give a perspective Dominant a better chance at being the RIGHT ONE for you or not
Even if you have no idea what I am talking about here
Still
You have to protect yourself first
Because if anyone sees that you are unconcerned how destructive the possibilities can be to both of you?
They can become bitter and even terrorized by your concern for their own time and efforts
Or even respect for telling them at least what YOU do know you know enough to know that you need more empathy and concern than anger and mistrust
And let me put this out there now...
SUBMISSION IS THE MOST POWERFUL NATURAL TRAIT
When mastered
And the word here that is most important here is
MASTERED
Because you don't have to have all the answers
But having NOTHING but questions
Is not impressive or even comfortable for someone who wishes to become your "ONE" and only
And anyone who feels comfortable enough to think they know enough at any point in their lives to not have to earn a deeper respect and control of their power
Is a dangerous person
To everyone
Especially themselves
So what makes your submission something worth calling yourself a sub missive?
What is the NATURE of your NATURAL submissive traits?
What about you do you respect and enjoy being submissive like?
Are you a sexually driven sub?
What kind?
(yeah there is a rack of kinds to be)
Do you know?
What do you know that you are not sexually into?
What kink attracts you?
How?
Why?
What makes you want to submit to anyone?
For what reason?
Do you understand that both sexes are or can be submissive?
What's the difference?
What makes you different than others?
What makes you the same?
Do you care?
How well do you communicate?
Are you selfish?
Can you change?
Do you want to change?
How much?
What about being a sub missive to a Dominant?
Can you stay in character?
Why?
How?
How attentive are you to others?
Your perspective provider?
How well can you deal with conflict?
How far do you want to submit?
Why?
What is too far?
Do you know the difference?
What if you are wrong?
How well can you honor direction?
What if that direction is too forceful?
How do you deal with orders?
How much of your freedom do you want to submit?
Why?
How?
What if you can not let go?
Is there such a thing as deal breakers?
Why?
How serious are you about your direction in these lifestyles?
Are you monogamous?
Are you Bi?
Can you be both?
How?
Why?
How strong are your own personal desires?
Do you know what they are?
What dysfunctions and fears are you not in control of?
Do you know what that means?
How do you see yourself in general?
How do you compare yourself to others?
Are you willing to face these fears?
To what point?
Can you defend yourself from yourself?
How?
How can others assist you?
What if they can not always help you when you need help?
How well do you respect your weaknesses?
Do you have the strength to admit you need help?
How?
Why?
Why do you NEED a Dominant?
What can having a suitable provider and protector improve your own personal life?
Why can you not do it own your own?
What are you willing to trade in fairness for what you seek in these lifestyles from others?
What if you get less than you feel you deserve?
What if you have to change more of who you think you are comfortable with being?
What about sex?
Do you know how your sexuality connects to your kink?
Or why?
Do you play well with others?
What if you had to share your perspective mate?
Is that a deal breaker?
What is?
Can you communicate that and other issues productively?
How much control are you willing to respect if the demands on you become too uncomfortable?
How comfortable are you with explaining your own personal needs?
What goal do you have if provided a suitable partner?
What if you have to compromise?
How far are you willing to compromise?
Do you have walls?
What are they?
Why are they conflictive to your growth?
What about competition?
Are you willing to compete for attention and attractions over others?
Why?
Why not?
What is worth it?
What is not?
As you can see...
There is much more than just being a Dom or sub or whatever
You are unique
And nobody knows how much until you open up
And let others in your head, life, world, and heart in some cases
But these lifestyles were made from a natural order of human nature
And when done faithfully
It can enhance your lives
When done productively
It produces style to your life
When done faithfully
It produces blessings
But when don't half ass?
You get what you put into it
Together
Or not
LIFE IS A GAME
It's about how you play it
And how you play well with others
Even if the others
Are the other sides of your own personality
But too many people as of late have treated all of these sexual lifestyles as a fad or plaything
They don't consider that these lifestyles are support to lives worthy of a deeper growth and expression
As grown consenting adults
With freaky and even kinky lust
For a more full life
Together
And all of these lifestyles are made for relationship support
Not for personal manipulation and indulgence
Because what use is it to go through to much trouble?
If your not gonna get more than what so many of us feel we deserve out of life and our lifestyle
But these lifestyles are the best excuse to add more style to your everyday lives
But in order for any of you to enjoy any productive part of any of these lifestyles?
You have to first respect who you are as a productive part of these lifestyles
Or not
If you so choose this direction
With anyone else
But first you have to understand
Anything worth enjoying
Is worth the amount of personal work you put into it
Or not
But JUST being a title does not prepare you for every other moment you are not getting kinky with your perspective mates
Only YOU can prevent the drama you keep getting into with others
Maybe some of the fault in so many downfalls in these lifestyles and even in the vanilla world, is not being able to communicate better your needs and your abilities to respect others need for you too
With them
Together for some other reason than just fucking!
Because these sexual lifestyles are not about the sexual nature
It's about how they can enhance your life
It's like your wardrobe
It's not the clothes that make the Man or Woman
It's the style that they wear what makes them who they are and how they feel
Without style in our lives?
We just look like naked people with something covering their nudity
Now nudity is a whole other subject
Because THAT is all we are
Naked
Everything else about us is inside our own minds and mindsets
But when people look at us
First they see who we look like we are
And if they are attracted to that?
They dig deeper
And that is how this shit called life is
Style
Style may refer to:
- Genre, a loose set of criteria for a category or composition
- Design, the process of creating something
- Format, various terms that refer to the style of different things
- Human physical appearance
- Fashion, a prevailing mode of expression, i.e. clothing
- Typeface, style is one of the three traditional design features along with size and weight: either regular, italic or condensed
Style may also refer to:
- Painting style, in art and painting style can refer either to the aesthetic values followed in choosing what to paint (and how) or to the physical techniques employed
- Style (manner of address), titles or honorifics, including Chinese courtesy names
- Style (botany), a stalk structure in female flower parts. See Gynoecium
Style of life
The term style of life was used by psychiatrist Alfred Adler as one of several constructs describing the dynamics of the personality. It reflects the individual's unique, unconscious, and repetitive way of responding to (or avoiding) the main tasks of living: friendship, love, and work. This style, rooted in a childhood prototype, remains consistent throughout life, unless it is changed through depth psychotherapy. The style of life is reflected in the unity of an individual's way of thinking, feeling, and acting. Often, bending an individual away from the needs of others or common sense, movements are made to relieve inferiority feelings or to compensate for those feelings with an unconscious fictional final goal. Classical Adlerian psychotherapy attempts to dissolve the archaic style of life and stimulate a more creative approach to living.
Adler felt he could distinguish four primary types of style. Three of them he said to be "mistaken styles". These include the ruling type: aggressive, dominating people who don't have much social interest or cultural perception; the getting type: dependent people who take rather than give; and the avoiding type: people who try to escape life's problems and take part in not much socially constructive activity. The fourth life style by Adler is the socially useful type: people with a great deal of social interest and activity.No matter how you see it?
If you don't know what you are deeper than just using general titles to explain to others?
Who will they think you are or not?
You first have to tell people who you think you are and then if they are impressed enough to go further?
They will
And in time they will see a difference
Because it is natural for us humans to change and evolve
It's how you do it in style
Or not
respect
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